Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party?
In queso emergency.
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
What group of cheese has been known to fly? Curds of prey!
What hotel do cheese lover’s stay in?
The Stilton.
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?
“You make me melt.”
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
What cheese do beavers like? eDam
Why did the wheel act so bossy? Cause he was the "Big Cheese."
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
What drives cheese crazy?
That everyone around them is crackers.
What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? "That's the most violent book I've ever read."
What is a cannibal's favourite cheese? Limburger
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
What do you tell a cheese going through a hard time?
Ricotta get through this.
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that's all up in your face? Too close for comfort food.
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
What did the aged cheddar say when his mom told him he couldn’t see a movie that was rated R?
“I’m mature for my age.”
What do you call a cheese that is an alcoholic? Livarot
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
What do you call a socialite made of cheese?
Paris Stilton.
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
What did one cheddar cheese say to the other cheddar cheese at prom?
Looking sharp!
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
What do you get when you cross a goblin and cheese? Muenster cheese.
What kind of cheese makes the best music?
Brieoncé.