Ever heard of French Donuts?
They’re the Beigne of my existence.
Why did the donut go to a therapist?
He felt empty inside.
What kind of evidence can a donut not take to trial?
Anecdoughtal evidence.
What’s the healthiest part of a donut?
The middle.
How can you spot a fashionista donut?
They’re into all the latest glazes.
What do you call a pastry that is a priest? A Holy Donut!
What kind of donuts fly? Plain ones!
Knock knock!
Who’s there? Doughnut. Doughnut Who? Doughnut forget to close the door!
I’m opening a grocery store that specializes in Swiss cheese and donuts.
I’m calling it Hole Foods.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
What type of window do donuts prefer in their homes?
Double glazed.
What happened to the renegade donuts?
They went down in a glaze of glory.
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his donut?
He was stuffed!
What do you call a Boston creme donut that’s a straight-A student?
The creme of the crop.
What’s a donut’s favorite lullaby?
“Sprinkle, Sprinkle Little Star.”
Why did the donut start going to therapy? It couldn’t get over the feeling that something was missing — it never felt hole!
What do you call a pastry that is a priest?
A Holy Donut!
Why do donuts make terrible teachers?
They’re always glazing over the important stuff.
Why do donuts hate puns so much?
They donut like to joke around!
Why did the croissants take the donuts and bagels to Disneyland?
They thought it would be fun for the hole family.
Knock, knock
Who’s there? CIA CIA, who? CI ate your last doughnut!
What is a donut’s favorite day of the week?
Fry-day.
Why did the baker quit making donuts?
Because he was fed up with the hole business!
What is the only thing that can cure a sick do-nut?
An antidought!
How does Bob Marley like his donuts?
Wi’ jam in.
A cream-filled donut and an eclair decided to get a divorce.
It’s a sad story, but the real victims are their children. They’re in for a grueling custardy battle.
Why did the donut go to the dentist? It needed a filling!"
What do donuts wear to weddings? Tuxe-doughs!
How busy was the donuts day? It was jam packed!
Why did the clock in the donut shop run slow?
It always went back four seconds
What’s the best thing to put in a donut?
Your teeth.
Knock Knock.
Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut ask, it’s a secret!
Q: What’s a donut’s favorite drink?
A: Hole-y water!
What do you get when you cross Frosty with a baker?
Frosty the Dough-Man!
What did an angry donut say to his wife?
Donut talk to me.
What did the pastry chef say to his unsupportive father?
“Donut hole me back.”
What’s the National Donut Day theme song?
“Donut Stop Believing.”
I allow myself only one donut per year.
This morning I had 433 B.C., 1731, and 1952.
What did Yoda say when he turned a patron away for ordering a pie?
“Dough. Or doughnut. There is no pie.”
Why did the donut go to the doctor?
He was feeling crumby.
Why couldn’t the donut reach enlightenment? Because it was already holy.
What are strange donuts made out of?
Weird-doughs.
The arrogant baker declared, “You’ll never hear a complaint about my doughnuts outside this shop window.”
The customer agreed, “It must be the double glazing.”
What do you call it when you order the same donut every day?
A do-rut!
What do donuts think about donut puns? They donut like them!
What was the donut’s least favorite part of its day?
I’m not really sure; it glazed over that part.
Did you hear the joke about the donut? Probably not, it was crummy!
What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts!
What do you call a cute donut?
A-dough-able.
Why do golfers love donuts?
Always a hole-in-one!