What do you get when you cross a goblin and cheese? Muenster cheese.
What did the commedian say after after a bad set?
That crowd was laughtose intolerant.
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
Which is the most religious cheese? Swiss, because it is holy.
What pickup line can you use to pick up a cheese lover?
“Are you cheddar? ‘Cause you’re lookin’ sharp!”
Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?
Caerphilly.
How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
What did one cheddar cheese say to the other cheddar cheese at prom?
Looking sharp!
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
Why did the parmesan swipe left on the cheddar?
His pick-up line was too cheesey.
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
What group of cheese has been known to fly? Curds of prey!
What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?
Limb-burger.
Did you hear what happened to the cheese after its breakup?
It got provolonely.
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?
Brie mine.
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?
“You make me melt.”
How do you get a mouse to smile? Say cheese!
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party?
In queso emergency.
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? "That's the most violent book I've ever read."
Did you hear about the guy who had an addiction to cheddar cheese?
It was only mild.
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
Where should you call if you find a bad cheese shop?
The feta business bureau.
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.