What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.