What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!