My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.