Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
What does it take to become a zombie?
Dead-ication.
What do you call a zombie in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
What do you call a zombie door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer!
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
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