Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
What does it take to become a zombie?
Dead-ication.
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.