What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?