What is an evil dictator’s favorite type of weather?
A rain of terror.
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
Why did the cloud stay at home? It was feeling under the weather.
The wind is following a new workout program. It’s called air conditioning.
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
Many people think that when warm droplets of water in the air are rapidly cooled it forms fog.
But it’s actually a common mist-conception.
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
I'm going to discuss global warming on Sunday at a debate. It's a very heated topic.
Q: What's a tornado's favorite game?
A: Twister
What did one cloud of fog say to the other?
I don’t know. It’s a mistery.
Sorry for raining on your parade, I really thought it'd be snow problem.
Thunderstorms are shrewd investors. They put their money in a combination of frozen and liquid assets.
You can't blame anyone if you fall in your driveway due to snowy weather...
Because that's your own asphalt.
Q: What did the leaf say to the wind?
A: You really blew me away.
Why is rain the best kind of music?
Because it has amazing drops.
I hate windy weather. It really blows.
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
Does all this rain make you want an ark?
I Noah guy.
I'm saving for a rainy day, so far I've collected a couple of raincoats, an anorak, and a dinghy.
Everyone said the wind was powerful. So, I went outside and was blown away.
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
Local weather reports state there won't be any rain for 1 year, but I drought it.
How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.
How can colors be used to predict the weather?
By their huemidity.
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
I don’t know if I got hit by freezing rain but it sure hurt like hail.
What words do windmills live by? One good turn deserves another!
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he sure had a great fall.
Why did the dad prefer driving in the rain?
Things ran more fluidly.
Q: How do you stop newspapers from flying away on windy days?
A: Use a news anchor!
It was so hot that the bee's perm had become extremely unmanageable, so she turned into a frizzbee.
What’s a bigamist?
It’s what Italians call a thick fog.
Where does fog go to the bathroom?
Anywhere it wants.
I tried playing baseball in the fog today.
It was a bit hit and mist.
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
The queen’s favorite form of precipitation is the reign.
Did you hear about those really bad storms that hit that boy scout camp over night?
They were in tents.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
It was hot today and when I went outside I saw there was a line of guys standing outside the hairdressers. I thought to myself, "Such a lovely day to have a barber queue".
Q: Why is it so windy in England?
A: Because Harry Kane (hurricane) lives there..
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.