Our weather bureau is actually an umbrella organization.
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
What is fog's favorite drink? Mountain Dew
Q: What do you call a row of 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
I’ve never understood fog machines.
They mystify me to this day.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror.
Mother always knows best. But when winter comes around, Mother Nature snows best.
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
I got lost in the mist today.
I didn’t have the foggiest idea where I was.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
My glasses may be fogged up, but don’t worry I’ll be fine.
I’m optimistic!
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
What was one raindrop overheard saying to another? Two's company, three's a cloud.
Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
Our souls will rain forever.
Four types of weather were having a race. Sunny won gold, cloudy got silver, snowy picked up a bronze, and rainy won a precipitation award.
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
Q: What do you call a freezing bird?
A: Brrrrrrrrrdddd
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
It was pretty foggy outside today.
I shot an arrow in the air, and it stuck.
When we were young, we had this myth that lightning bolts go all the way to cloud 9.
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
Did you hear of the story of the tornado? There is a twist at the end.
I over boiled some venison broth earlier.
It was deerly mist.
A guy just walked into my store and bought a bunch of fog machines so I called the cops.
He must belong to an extreme mist organization.
Why did the cloud stay at home? It was feeling under the weather.
Due to bad weather, I won't be attending the Meteorology Convention.
I'm gonna take a rain-check.
Why do people like storm watching so much?
The lightning is quite striking!
Why did the dad prefer driving in the rain?
Things ran more fluidly.
What’s the difference between a horse and wet weather?
One reigns up and the other rains down.
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
What is a tornado's favorite Elton John song? Candle in the Wind!
A man once said when is Monday coming? His wife said Mon-soon.
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
What do you call a baby owl stuck in the rain?
A moist owlette.
Q: Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?
A: Because you’re breaking wind.
A bunch of chill-dren from the neighborhood played all afternoon in the snow.
What is an evil dictator’s favorite type of weather?
A rain of terror.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
What happened when it started raining coins?
It knocked some sense (cents) into the world.
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone
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