Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
How can colors be used to predict the weather?
By their huemidity.
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he sure had a great fall.
What do you call an English rock band playing in the mist? Foghat.
Thunderstorms are shrewd investors. They put their money in a combination of frozen and liquid assets.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite Elton John song?
A: Candle in the Wind!
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
You can't blame anyone if you fall in your driveway due to snowy weather...
Because that's your own asphalt.
There's a basic difference between weather and climate: you can't weather a tree, but you can definitely climate.
My neighbour always thinks he knows more about the weather than me
The guy is a real snow it all.
What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.
I over boiled some venison broth earlier.
It was deerly mist.
Q: What did Julius Caesar’s pet windmill say?
A: I came, I spun, I conquered.
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
It was pretty foggy outside today.
I shot an arrow in the air, and it stuck.
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
Why do sailors eat shellfish when rain is forecast?
It’s the clam before the storm.
The wind had such a great time. You could say it had a blast.
What is an evil dictator’s favorite type of weather?
A rain of terror.
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
Ensure you save for the rainy day because even your closest friends can give you a cold shoulder.
Where does fog go to the bathroom?
Anywhere it wants.
What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
What is fog's favorite drink? Mountain Dew
Did you hear of the story of the tornado? There is a twist at the end.
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
Q: What do you call a gust of wind that blows a tall guys onto a basketball court?
A: The NBA draft
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror.
My glasses fogged up once I came out of the AC room last summer, but I was okay because I was opti-mistic.
Even during thunderstorms, Santa can still deliver presents because raindeers fly his sleigh.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
I mist say, this is a pretty bad joke, but it haze potential.
What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain.
One fish said, “Quick, let’s swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!”
I'm going to discuss global warming on Sunday at a debate. It's a very heated topic.
What does a ghost wear when it’s raining outside?
Boooooooooooots.
Q: Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?
A: Because you’re breaking wind.
The wind is following a new workout program. It’s called air conditioning.
When we were young, we had this myth that lightning bolts go all the way to cloud 9.
Why are people in big cities in Spain always dry?
Because the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
Nowadays, people drought the accuracy of weather men because the climatic patterns are so unpredictable.