There's a basic difference between weather and climate: you can't weather a tree, but you can definitely climate.
How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.
Q: What did the leaf say to the wind?
A: You really blew me away.
Did you hear about those really bad storms that hit that boy scout camp over night?
They were in tents.
Q: What is a wind turbine’s favorite musical group?
A: Air Supply
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
It was so hot that the bee's perm had become extremely unmanageable, so she turned into a frizzbee.
A man once said when is Monday coming? His wife said Mon-soon.
Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
Because she expected some change in the weather.
I'm saving for a rainy day, so far I've collected a couple of raincoats, an anorak, and a dinghy.
Why do sailors eat shellfish when rain is forecast?
It’s the clam before the storm.
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
My glasses fogged up once I came out of the AC room last summer, but I was okay because I was opti-mistic.
Due to bad weather, I won't be attending the Meteorology Convention.
I'm gonna take a rain-check.
What’s the difference between a horse and wet weather?
One reigns up and the other rains down.
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
It just mist.
Want to hear a joke about weather?
Actually, never mind. I'll just save it for a rainy day.
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
Everyone said the wind was powerful. So, I went outside and was blown away.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite Elton John song?
A: Candle in the Wind!
Many people think that when warm droplets of water in the air are rapidly cooled it forms fog.
But it’s actually a common mist-conception.
I’ve never understood fog machines.
They mystify me to this day.
Where does fog go to the bathroom?
Anywhere it wants.
Q: What falls but never hits the ground?
A: The temperature
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
What does a tornado wear under his clothes? Thunderwear!
Q: What's a tornado's favorite game?
A: Twister
The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
What happens before it rains candy? It sprinkles.
What does a ghost wear when it’s raining outside?
Boooooooooooots.
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
What's the wind's favourite colour?
Blew
When we were young, we had this myth that lightning bolts go all the way to cloud 9.
Even during thunderstorms, Santa can still deliver presents because raindeers fly his sleigh.
What should you do if it starts raining cats and dogs?
Please seek shelters.
It’s raining cats and dogs outside.
I think I just stepped in a poodle.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Butter
Butter who?
Butter get an umbrella, it looks like it's going to rain!
A guy just walked into my store and bought a bunch of fog machines so I called the cops.
He must belong to an extreme mist organization.
I thought I saw some fog yesterday.
But I guess my memory’s a little cloudy.
What’s a bigamist?
It’s what Italians call a thick fog.
It was pretty foggy outside today.
I shot an arrow in the air, and it stuck.
I got lost in the mist today.
I didn’t have the foggiest idea where I was.
What do you call a baby owl stuck in the rain?
A moist owlette.
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What do you call a weather man that destroys dinosaurs?
A meteorologist
Who does their best work when they're under the weather?
Meteorologists.
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