I hate windy weather. It really blows.
Q: What’s the fastest way to make a skeleton?
A: Put a leper in a wind tunnel
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
My glasses fogged up once I came out of the AC room last summer, but I was okay because I was opti-mistic.
A guy just walked into my store and bought a bunch of fog machines so I called the cops.
He must belong to an extreme mist organization.
I'm saving for a rainy day, so far I've collected a couple of raincoats, an anorak, and a dinghy.
I guess you could say that things hit by tornado's are blown up.
Even during thunderstorms, Santa can still deliver presents because raindeers fly his sleigh.
My neighbour always thinks he knows more about the weather than me
The guy is a real snow it all.
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
What is known as the world's wettest animal? Rain-deer.
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
There's a basic difference between weather and climate: you can't weather a tree, but you can definitely climate.
Did you hear about those really bad storms that hit that boy scout camp over night?
They were in tents.
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it’s not raining.
Mother always knows best. But when winter comes around, Mother Nature snows best.
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
I tried playing baseball in the fog today.
It was a bit hit and mist.
A good friend of mine fell into a vaporiser and died.
She is sadly mist.
What’s a bigamist?
It’s what Italians call a thick fog.
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
Why do skeletons hate how wind feels? Because it goes right through them!
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
What do you call a dinosaur that got stuck in the rain?
A driplodocus.
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain.
One fish said, “Quick, let’s swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!”
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
Everyone said the wind was powerful. So, I went outside and was blown away.
Ensure you save for the rainy day because even your closest friends can give you a cold shoulder.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror!
Q: What do you call a row of 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
What should you do if it starts raining cats and dogs?
Please seek shelters.
What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
Why are people in big cities in Spain always dry?
Because the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
What do you call a storm that doesn't come to fruition?
A mist opportunity!
What did the baby cloud say to its mum when it rained? Sorry, mum, I couldn't hold it any longer.
What does a ghost wear when it’s raining outside?
Boooooooooooots.
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
I thought I saw some fog yesterday.
But I guess my memory’s a little cloudy.
You can't blame anyone if you fall in your driveway due to snowy weather...
Because that's your own asphalt.
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
Our weather bureau is actually an umbrella organization.
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