What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."