What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.