My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
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