A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
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