What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
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