Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
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