What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
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