How are waiters and blockers similar? When they do a good job, they get a big fat tip.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
It is not uncommon for elephants to start a stampede. Especially if they want to play for the Chargers.
In the history of bowling, there is one bowler who floats like a butterfly and stings pretty much like a bee. His name is Muhammad Alley.
Everybody wants to light up a soccer stadium. However, this is only possible using a soccer match.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
Good bowlers always keep their minds out of the gutter.
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
Where do spiders play football?
Webley Stadium.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
Why did the volleyball player cross the street? There were players on the other side.
Summer is just floating by.
Where did the Flopper work in the offseason? At Dominik's Hat-Check.
Don’t be a wet noodle – join us!
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
What do golf and se* have in common?
They’re two things you can enjoy even if you’re bad at both of them.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
What do runners do when they forget something?
They jog their memory!
This is one spray-cation to remember.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
We’re trying to pool off the party of the summer.
What is a golfer’s favorite dance move?
The Bogey.
How do you communicate with a fish? Drop it a line!
When the pitch is flooded, soccer players can still go on. They just need to bring on their subs.
My moment in the sun.
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
I went deep sea diving and a mollusk wanted to give me a hug!
Damn cuddlefish.
Cold Ski Pun of the Day: I'm tired of slalom skiing. Alpine over another telemark now.
Chairlift Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, is it really windy up here, or are you just blowing me away?
Basketball players at times get athletes foot. Come to think of it, it is like the missle toe astronauts get.
"What are your thoughts on diving?"
"Well, I guess it's descent as a hobby."
Which trophy has the most glitz? The Lady Bling.
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
Why wasn’t the little pumpkin allowed to swim?
There was no life gourd on duty!
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
Where's the weak spot on a Scottish goalie? The fief hole.
Djokovic to his friends the morning after winning the U.S. Open: Is anyone hungry for some Denny’s? Because I would like another Grand Slam.
What is a golfer’s favorite bird?
Any birdie will do.
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?
Chances are both will end up in the gutter.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
Scrambled eggs are similar to a losing basketball team because both are beaten.
How do crazy runners go through the forest?
They take the psychopath!
I’m never board when I’m at the pool.
Do you want to know what you get when you cross a newborn snake with a basketball? Really! Ooh you will end up with a bouncing baby boa.
Soviet goaltenders got their hair cut at Vladislav's Tress-shack.
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
Oh, I thought I was playing the first round, but I guess I got a free pass. Bye.
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