What did they give former Flyers left-winger Brian when he successfully
bulked up? Massive Propps.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
Seven days without playing soccer can make one weak.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Pardon me if I’m being pool-itically incorrect.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
What might folks in Tokyo find between Godzilla's toes?
Slow runners.
They say that volleyball is just mind over matter. Because in our minds, you don’t matter.
There are many grounds religious children can practice their soccer skills. However, most of them love the prayground.
Everyone wondered why Cinderella was such a bad player. If only they knew, her coach was a pumpkin.
The injured player wanted to congratulate the winner, but he couldn’t walkover to the other side of the court.
Water you doing on [date]?
Why were the volleyball players always tying in tic tac toe? Each time one of them sets an X, the other player just says O.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
There is a commonality between a thanksgiving and a bowler guest. They both love turkey.
I want to play my match outdoors so I can hit the ball higher in the air. I’m not good at persuading people, so I’m going to hire a lob-byist.
If you want to impress the crowd, hit overheads. Every point will be a smash hit.
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
Cold Ski Pun of the Day: I'm tired of slalom skiing. Alpine over another telemark now.
Chairlift Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, is it really windy up here, or are you just blowing me away?
What is American football called in other countries?
30.48 cm ball.
Can linesmen enter the Hall of Fame? Yes, because they decide who's HOFside.
At the end of the year, there is always a rock n’ bowl concert where everyone gets entertained.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse? The Codfather
Why wasn't the jogger all that bummed out when his girlfriend broke up with him?
'Cause they had a good run.
I got so mad at my partner hitting moonballs, I had to pusher off the court.
Which Nordique great has recurring ligament problems? Peter Spaz-knee!
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
Pack your trunks – we’re having a pool party!
Soviet goaltenders got their hair cut at Vladislav's Tress-shack.
Whatever you do this summer, be sure to make a splash.
What happens if the Grim Reaper spikes the ball? You have to dig your own grave.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
Two tomatoes went jogging. One trips and falls. The other tomato said, "Grab my Heinz and I'll help you up." Trippy tomato replies, "Nah, you go ahead. I'll ketchup."
Why shouldn't you hire a volleyball player to be your bartender?
The service may be excellent, but he'll try to spike all the drinks.
Join us for plenty of play action.
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
What do apres-ski participants in white-out blizzard conditions eat for lunch?
Icebergers. BRR!
I saw the chicken quickly crossing the basketball court? Then I remembered that the referee was blowing fowls.
My favorite sport is bowling cause I always strike out with girls.
Why is learning to ski in France so difficult?
'Cause sometimes they won't Alp you.
How many volleyball referees do you need to screw in a light bulb? None because they are always in the dark.
Why did the ski instructor ask for a divorce?
He found out his wife is a real flake.
If Messier retires he's sure to be moosed.
Did you know Karl Marx's sister invented the starting pistol?
Her name was Onya Marx.
What can you serve and never eat? A volleyball!
In the history of bowling, there is one bowler who floats like a butterfly and stings pretty much like a bee. His name is Muhammad Alley.
The only ship that has never docked on their harbor is the premiership.
Give me some pigskin
Why can't basketball players go on vacation?
They aren't allowed to travel.
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