Why do blind people hate diving?
It scares the hell out of their dogs.
Two tomatoes went jogging. One trips and falls. The other tomato said, "Grab my Heinz and I'll help you up." Trippy tomato replies, "Nah, you go ahead. I'll ketchup."
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
Do you believe this? All soccer players, irrespective of their country of origin, have one goal.
Why should you swim in an ool instead of a pool?
Because there’s no “p” in it!
When is the course too wet to play golf?
When your golf cart capsizes.
It is ridiculous having a basketball team that lacks a website. Do you mean none of them can string three W’s together?
Where do ghosts play volleyball at? At the volleyball corpse.
Why did the volleyball player cross the street? There was a team member bar tending who could serve spiked drinks.
I could go on and on about Salming but I don't want to Borje.
When your putt lips out, what disease do you have?
Liprocy.
Why did the fish cross the road? Cause it was hooked!
Why was the wheelchair basketball team banned from the Paralympics?
They all tested positive for WD-40.
This summer is going swimmingly.
Join us for plenty of play action.
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
Most of your players never make it out of the lower-level tournaments. I highly doubt their Futures as a professional.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
Having a ball
Which violation do ghosts get called for the most in basketball?
Ghoul tending.
Why can you never use a serve receive pattern against a sniper? They’d all start running for cover.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
Spending time at the pool really floats my boat.
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
Why do golfers hate cake?
Because they might get a slice.
There is a commonality between a thanksgiving and a bowler guest. They both love turkey.
How can you tell when a coach doesn’t know what they are doing? When the real coach is yelling from in the stands.
A tennis ball walks into a bar.
The bar man asks: “have you been served?”
Which fish can perform operations? A Sturgeon!
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
Which basketball team is the favorite at the North Pole?
The New York Old Saint Knicks.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
Will the Red Wings be able to replace their venerable captain Steve? No, because
when it comes to hockey smarts there is no Yzer man.
Why are spiders such great volleyball players? Because they have an amazing topspin.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
My friend Elmer’s has gotten really good at tennis ever since he stuck to a healthier diet and went glue-ten free.
The perfect name for a pig that plays basketball is a ball hog.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
The ref keeps shafting us the offsides; I think he's blue lyin'.
Why did the volleyball player get thrown out of the party? He spiked the punch.
Though it sounds mean, a bad soccer team is much like an old bra. It has no cups and minimal support.
I can’t believe I framed the ball in for a winner. Shank you!
Guy: Have you ever been fishing before? Girl: Why? Boy: I think we should hook up!
"What are your thoughts on diving?"
"Well, I guess it's descent as a hobby."
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
Federer is such a legend that they named the Roger’s Cup, and Fed Cup after him.
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