Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
The crosseyed history teacher
Could not control her pupils.
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
Did you guys hear about that 14-year old virgin girl who got pregnant after receiving the flu vaccine?
Sounds like an inoculate conception.
The Romans must have thought the year three thousand was going to be tasty.
MMM
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies...
She Satired.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
The First World War ended very quickly because they were Russian.
People find laundry therapeutic...
Because it takes a load off their mind.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
One fundamental lesson our teacher has taught us in History class while talking about the Civil War was never to take victory for Grant-ed.
One blender turns to the one next to it and says "You're looking exceptionally good today!"
So the other replies, "You're such a smoothie talker"
Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.
What is blood's message to the world? B POSITIVE.
Why did bulb pack an apple in his bag?
He wanted to have a light snack.
A good air conditioner is worth its weight in cold.
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
My parents always brought me up to believe the sky's the limit.
Which was a shame because I wanted to be an astronaut.
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
What do you call an ironing board that makes your clothes more wrinkly?
An irony board.
While teaching about the Mongol Empire in History class, our teacher told us, "If anyone Khan, Genghis Khan."
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
Where do light bulbs go shopping? The outlet stores.”
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
Do you find bone puns humerus?
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
Why shouldn't you let a geologist drive your car?
Because they get hammered and stoned.
What did the black pepper say to his wife after coming out of the grinder?
"Don't worry. I'm fine."
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster?
"I'M BREADY TO DIE"
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.
Why did the electrician marry his colleague? He couldn’t resistor.
I can eat sugar with either hand, I'm ambidextrose.
Why didn't ancient Romans reuse crosses after crucifixions?
To avoid cross contamination
I once knew a priest that only ate microwave soup.
He was a Ramen Catholic.
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
Where do electricians get their supplies? The Ohm Depot.
When the Frenchman asked for a book on warfare on Battle of Waterloo from his librarian, she said, "You're just going to lose it."
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
I spilled some acid on my aluminum fork and it dissolved…
but I didn’t mean to! It was an oxidant.
Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,
New Roman.
I replaced all the air vents in my house with smaller ones.
It was a reduction.
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
What did the geologist say when his doctor said he needed a colon exam?
No fracking way!
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Go to BabaMail
