What did the Italian marine Biologist say when asked to identify an eel?
That's a moray!
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
High tide.
What did the lamp eat?
A light snack...
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
What type of fish do two sodium atoms make?
2Na.
The tea pot sounds so angry!
Nah, its just letting off some steam.
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!
My friend dragged me to a lecture about lamps. I though it would be boring but...
It was very illuminating.
What’s the best tool to install an electrical plug with?
A socket wrench.
Two sodium atoms are walking down the street. Suddenly one says “Oh, my God, I’ve lost an electron!” The other says “Lost an electron! Are you sure?” and the first replies “Yes, I’m positive!”
When Napoleon is indecisive, he is torn-apart-e.
I think if Rome hadn't been built on a hill...
..it wouldn't have had such a fast decline.
A teacher asks one of their pupils, "Can you describe Napoleon"s origin?"
The pupil replies, "Course I can." (Corsican)
Air resistance is a real drag.
Asked my boy to put the kettle on.
He said, "I don't think it'll fit me"
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
The interesting the about engineering Toilet Paper.
It's an a-ply-ed science.
Why does a microwave hum?
Because it doesn't know the words
My dad used to crack jokes standing above our fireplace.
Now he's passed the mantle on to me.
How good/bad was the Internet at the time of the Roman Emperors?
Let me put it that way: the lag was so bad it took Jesus three days just to respawn and he got disconnected soon afterwards.
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
What is better than a physics joke?
A meta physics joke.
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
I put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room. What do you think will happen? That's a mist-ery.
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
His parents wouldn’t Cosine.
What did the gladiator say when he was surrounded by nearly 100 men?
IC
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.
Either it sucks or it sucks.
What do you call a catholic toaster strudel?
A pope tart.
Did you hear the one about the geologist? He took his wife for granite so she left him.
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
An atom loses an electron...
It says, "man, I really gotta keep an ion them."
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
What did the lamps do after their date?
They got turned on.
Why did the electrical cords break up? There was no spark between them.”
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
What do you call a glass robot that is good at physics?
A new-clear physicist.
My favorite crime TV show has a duck as the main character.
He always quacks the case.
What happened to the two gladiator olives?
They were pitted against each other
People find laundry therapeutic...
Because it takes a load off their mind.
People argue that the Romans were wrong to crucify Jesus
Personally, I think they nailed it.
What instrument never fails to energize a crowd?
An electric guitar.
What did one chandelier say to the other?
I have friends in the high places.
What is fruity and burns?
The grape fire of London.
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
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