What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
Why did the mushroom need time off work? Because he was fried.
How do you get into the mush-room? Ring the porta-bella.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.