What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.