Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
What did the bride say to her new husband at their wedding? - I love you so mush-groom!
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
During the contribution’s session, the mushroom family never gave a lot. They were just two spore.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.