What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!