How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
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