What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
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