I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
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