Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
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