How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
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