Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
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