Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
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