Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
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