How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
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