Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
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