What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
Did you hear the was a fire at a used furniture store and two people died next door?
It was due the second hand smoke
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
My wife drives like lightning.
I don't mean she drives fast - she hits trees.
Where do naughty rainbows go?
Prism
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
Dad has a pet snake that eats the grass in his yard.
It's a lawnboa.
Please excuse my resting beach face.
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...
Arson.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
The bartender asks one of The Beach Boys what they’d like, so he looks back to his friends
“Get a round?” “Round?” “Round?” “I’ll get a round!”
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
There's snow place like the mountains in winter.
When the rainbow decided to speak out at the meeting of all weathers, someone said 'Look hue's talking.'
The Azteca Stadium in Mexico has been so neglectfully maintained that there are foot-long grasses on the pitch. Now we call it the Grass-teca Stadium.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
A man went to buy long underwear cause the weather was getting cold. The cashier asked " How long would you like them"
"From march to September", said the man.
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
Beach you to it.
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
The coffee shop kept samples of burnt coffee as evidence to fire their roaster.
It was used as grounds for dismissal.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind that blows a tall guys onto a basketball court?
A: The NBA draft
I guess you could say that things hit by tornado's are blown up.
Q: Why did the tornado take a break?
A: Because it ran out of wind!
If trees could kill you, they wood.
I was hiking with my friend in the woods and bear attacked him
It was unbearable to watch
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
Girls just wanna have sun.
What did the river sue for?
Beaver damage.
What happens before it rains candy? It sprinkles.
What does seaweed say when it's stuck at the bottom of the sea? "Kelp! Kelp!"
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
The ocean made me salty.
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