What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
A butt lit a house on fire.
So I guess he committed Arse-on
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
Green vegetables absolutely love going on camps as a group. Their favorite is the Brussels Scouts.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
I couldn't go out because of the blizzard. So I had to eat storm-ed buns for dinner.
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
What happens before it rains candy? It sprinkles.
My father decided to mow the lawn today. As he mowed, all the grass blade.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
What is the color of the wind? Blew!
Q: What do you call a windmill swallowed up by a tornado?
A: A wind meal
Everyone said the wind was powerful. So, I went outside and was blown away.
Q: Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?
A: Because you’re breaking wind.
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
The other day a tree asked for my help with kindling a grass route movement.
I said I wood because it's got a lot growing for it.
Rainbows are very uncommon, they are blue and far between.
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
During a family discussion, my father said that grass is not greener than other plants. No one should make a biased grass-umption like that.
With the kind of weather, it was almost certain that the bride-to-be would get a hoarse throat as she walked through the rain into her bridal shower.
My dad refused to accept that he was not hiking in a mountain called Mt. McKinley
He was in Denali.
How does the weather tie its shoes? Witha rainbow!
I heard that burglars used grass to pick a lock and gain entry to a local house, but the evidence may have been planted.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Where does fog go to the bathroom?
Anywhere it wants.
As the storm was brewing, the madman raised his hands and cried, "Hail Storms! Long may they rain!"
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
What is the most favourite drink of a cow? Mountain Moo.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
Why did the worm cross the ruler?
To become an inchworm
What did the flower say after it told a joke?
I was pollen your leg
Why is the mushroom always invited to parties? Because he's a fun-gi.
You can bet on firemen at the beach.
It's a shore-fire thing.
What did the priest say at the flooding river?
God, dam it!
When do monkeys fall from the sky?
During ape-ril showers.
I hate windy weather. It really blows.
My Dermatologist was fired today...
He made too many rash decisions.
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