How do you learn more about spiders that live in the rainforest? Check out their web site!
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
After the rain has cleared and the sun comes out, rainbows are so quick to appear they'll red like wildfire.
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...
Arson.
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
The book on Mount Everest was super interesting because it had so many cliffhangers.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
I saw a cow on fire ther dayand so I put it out.
Guess you could call it a rare experience.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
My dad refused to accept that he was not hiking in a mountain called Mt. McKinley
He was in Denali.
I like rivers very much. I was watching a live stream earlier.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
The hiker hated the top of the mountain because it was all downhill from there!
Why did the strangers walk out onto the frozen pond?
I’ve never understood fog machines.
They mystify me to this day.
I have a hiking playlist with songs from the Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my trail mix.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
I thought I was swimming in the river Thames, but apparently I made it all the way to France before I realized I'm in Seine.
What is the color of the wind? Blew!
Why did the chicken cross the river?
To get to the otter side
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
A disappointed Dad tells a knock-knock joke to his teenage son: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're a mountain." "You're a mountain, who?" "You're a mountain to nothing, son!"
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
I don’t know if I got hit by freezing rain but it sure hurt like hail.
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
The wind is following a new workout program. It’s called air conditioning.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
Sea you at the beach.
How did the old man walk his way out of the storm so fast?
Because, he had a hurry cane.
Due to bad weather, I won't be attending the Meteorology Convention.
I'm gonna take a rain-check.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Many people think that when warm droplets of water in the air are rapidly cooled it forms fog.
But it’s actually a common mist-conception.
What did the vegan wear to the beach?
A zucchini!
How was the misbehaving lightning bolt punished?
He was grounded.
What do you call it when a panda eats all of your tall grass?
Bamboozled!
Q: What is a wind turbine’s favorite musical group?
A: Air Supply
What do you call a funnel shaped storm made of ketchup?
A tormato.
I needed to add some grass seeds to my lawn. The only thing I could find to keep the seeds out of my flower bed was some ceramic bunnies my wife had, so I used those as a barrier.
Please don't make fun of my re-seeding hare line.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
I told my mother moose were falling from the sky.
She said, "It's reindeer."
The cloud hailed from the sky kingdom.
I got camping insurance....but if someone steals my tent in the middle of the night....
I'm no longer covered.
You should dress up warm in the Andes. That place is Chile.
What did they use to set off the amazon warehouse fire?
Amazon kindle.
How did the apple tree get the job? It had the right qua-leaf-ications!
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