What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
Four types of weather were having a race. Sunny won gold, cloudy got silver, snowy picked up a bronze, and rainy won a precipitation award.
After being stuck in the ice storm all day long, the man said, "I am starving. Can I avalanche?"
Why was the food critic fired?
They didn't reference their sauces
When the drivers ran out of fuel in the grassland, they refueled their tanks with grass-oline!
When I arrived onset on a cloudy, dreary day, too many actors had been hired for the small part...
It was overcast.
A french farmer who owned an olive plantation had a huge fire
He was extremely sad, he had lost his all his huile d'olive.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
Two fish are swimming in a river, when one of them hits a concrete wall. He turns to the other and says: "Dam"
There was a terrible fire at the shoe factory today...
Over a million soles were lost.
I installed a sky light in my apartment.
The people upstairs were not happy at all.
Q: Why is there so much wind inside a sports arena?
A: Because of all the fans.
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror!
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
Did Texas survive last week's winter storms?
Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrly.
I saw a cow on fire ther dayand so I put it out.
Guess you could call it a rare experience.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
How did the old man walk his way out of the storm so fast?
Because, he had a hurry cane.
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
Mother always knows best. But when winter comes around, Mother Nature snows best.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn, it's impekkable.
Ensure you save for the rainy day because even your closest friends can give you a cold shoulder.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
I was not allowed to do my stand up act at the mushroom comedy show. I guess I am not a fungi.
I’ve never understood fog machines.
They mystify me to this day.
How about the most dangerous mountain in the world? Kill-a-man-jaro.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow? Nothing, it was feeling blue.
I got camping insurance....but if someone steals my tent in the middle of the night....
I'm no longer covered.
Had a great weekend. Won the annual weather forecaster's championships!
I beat the raining champion.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
I lost my cat in a snowstorm!
But he should be fine because he's a cool cat.
General: "Fire at will!"
Soldier: "Which one's Will?"
A cowboy and a Mexican were walking side-by-side by a beach in Mexico. The Cowboy asked to the Mexican if the Gulf of Mexico was an ocean.
"Sea, Señor," replied the Mexican.
I would love climbing to the peak of Mount Everest, but I do not see the point.
Why did the chicken cross the river?
To get to the otter side
I enjoy throwing coins in the river and watching them. I like studying my cash flow.
What do you call a friendly volcano? Lava-ble.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
Go to BabaMail
