What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
How do rainbows sleep? In forty pinks.
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
Every time I passed a ring-shaped coral reef with a coral rim that encircles a lagoon, I had to pay a fee. It was atoll.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower!
Had a great weekend. Won the annual weather forecaster's championships!
I beat the raining champion.
How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
My fire tonight...
Was lit!
The mountain got promoted because he was at the peak of his career!
What is batman’s favorite food (ans Just-ice)
Not much, just-ice.
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
When the storm begun, the garden party became a bit disorganized and food service was turned to a frost come frost served.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
What is a tornado's favorite movie? Gone With the Wind!
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
Sorry, I'm octopied.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
When we were young, we had this myth that lightning bolts go all the way to cloud 9.
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it’s not raining.
When the AC circuits in your home are hit by a DC lightning bolt..
It's a current affair.
What did you call an awesome geologist? A rockstar!
I have an exciting new job as an explosives engineer blowing up mountains for tunnels and roads.
It's Groundbreaking work.
What kind of bean never grows in a garden? A jelly bean!
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
“My plop is bigger than your plop.”
A man went to buy long underwear cause the weather was getting cold. The cashier asked " How long would you like them"
"From march to September", said the man.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What did the ground say to the earthquake? You crack me up!
I imagined I saw a rainbow but it must have been a pigment of our imagination.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
General: "Fire at will!"
Soldier: "Which one's Will?"
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