What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
How many colors are in the rainbow? I haven't got a blue.
What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
Want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I'll dig something up!
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
What is the best way for fungi to grow? You must give it as mushroom as possible!
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
What did the cloud say to the rainbow? Thank you for adding color to my day.
I had a rainbow for lunch. I'm trying to eat light.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
What do you call an 'O' on fire?
Flamingo.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.
A french farmer who owned an olive plantation had a huge fire
He was extremely sad, he had lost his all his huile d'olive.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
When you look at the sky and see the moon
You're looking at a subtle light
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror.
A friend of mine is his team's best footballer on paper. Unfortunately, they play most of their games on grass.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
They figured it was the best way to break the ice.
Sorry, I'm octopied.
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
Snowbows.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
Why did the River go to the doctor? Her flow wouldn't stop.
Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet.
He called them missile toes.
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
It was a great fire. It was a bon-fire.
Why do people like storm watching so much?
The lightning is quite striking!
I was hiking yesterday, when I suddenly ran in to a cougar....
Almost made me puma pants!
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
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