What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
Where does the sun hide at night? Just keep looking for it, it'll dawn on you soon!
My mind works like lightning.
One brilliant flash and it's gone.
What do you say when the beach asks you to walk on it?
Shore
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
What did the cow that was struck by lightning say?
I'm udderly shocked.
The hiker hated the top of the mountain because it was all downhill from there!
I'm reading a book called "The Yellow River"
It's written by I.P. Freely
I thought I saw some fog yesterday.
But I guess my memory’s a little cloudy.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
It was a great fire. It was a bon-fire.
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
When you look at the sky and see the moon
You're looking at a subtle light
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
Diving into shallow water could lead to jumping to wrong conclusions.
I saw a cow on fire ther dayand so I put it out.
Guess you could call it a rare experience.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
General: "Fire at will!"
Soldier: "Which one's Will?"
A man went to the gym today and met up with his new personal rainer.
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
When the rainbow decided to speak out at the meeting of all weathers, someone said 'Look hue's talking.'
My boss told me that he was going to fire the person with the worst posture
I have a hunch, it might be me.
Pink is the early bird of the rainbow colors, it's always the first to rose and shine.
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
What did they use to set off the amazon warehouse fire?
Amazon kindle.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What do you call it when a panda eats all of your tall grass?
Bamboozled!
What is the most favourite drink of a cow? Mountain Moo.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
Q: What’s the fastest way to make a skeleton?
A: Put a leper in a wind tunnel
What clothes do rainbows wear? Thunderpants.
I don't like clouds. They're always throwing shade.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
Q: What did the wind turbine say to the engineer after he fixed him?
A: I’m a big fan of your work!
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
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