What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
What happens when you go to the beach in hell?
You get a SaTan.
What did the cloud say to the rainbow? Thank you for adding color to my day.
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
Be careful out there during the snowstorm. It ain't snow joke.
What do you call a deer in a storm?
A raindeer
There was a television channel ran by pets, the weather forecast was on and inclement weather was being predicted...
High chance of it raining cats and dogs, howling winds, and a possible purricane.
Guess what I do when my ice house falls apart.
Igloo it back together!
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
If there's a will, there's a wave.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
There was a rebellious lightning bolt who ended up in juvenile hall.
His parents grounded him so he struck them.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
I stole fire from the gods.
But I couldn't fence it. It was too hot.
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
Diving into shallow water could lead to jumping to wrong conclusions.
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
What do you call the least popular color in the rainbow? The weakest pink.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
Tis the sea-sun.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet.
He called them missile toes.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What did the flower say to the flower next to him? Move over bud!
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
Why didn't the hipster swim in the river? It was too mainstream.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
This rainbow is on its last legs, it's really hanging by a red.
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
There is a higher chance of being struck by lightning than to be killed in a shark attack.
Shocking isn't it.
My wife said the stretch marks on her legs looked like lightning bolts...
So I said, that's because you have thunder thighs.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
What is batman’s favorite food (ans Just-ice)
Not much, just-ice.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
Four types of weather were having a race. Sunny won gold, cloudy got silver, snowy picked up a bronze, and rainy won a precipitation award.
Did you hear about the mother who gave birth to her baby while she was in the sky?
I guess you can say the baby was airborne
What do snowmen do on Christmas?
Play with the snow angels.
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
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