Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
Why do skeletons hate how wind feels? Because it goes right through them!
When something evolves, it becomes a fork of nature.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
Did you know humans can be struck by lightning?
I was shocked when I found out.
What was one raindrop overheard saying to another? Two's company, three's a cloud.
How was the misbehaving lightning bolt punished?
He was grounded.
I was not allowed to do my stand up act at the mushroom comedy show. I guess I am not a fungi.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
What did the priest say at the flooding river?
God, dam it!
What do you call an 'O' on fire?
Flamingo.
The clients who buy from our gardening store are grass-ured that the artificial lawn grass would not lose its color with use.
When the husband of the queen gets back to his palace after climbing the mountain, the queen says "Hi, King!"
What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear!
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
My wife was watching me do some DIY and she said I hammer like lightning.
I never strike in the same place twice.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
During our journey through the savanna grasslands, we kept track of time with the help of an hour-grass.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
What do you call an old snowman? A creek.
What is known as the world's wettest animal? Rain-deer.
Q: Why was the cloud so dark and stormy?
A: It was feeling mis-thunder-stood.
What did they use to set off the amazon warehouse fire?
Amazon kindle.
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
Four types of weather were having a race. Sunny won gold, cloudy got silver, snowy picked up a bronze, and rainy won a precipitation award.
I don't like clouds. They're always throwing shade.
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese.
Did you hear about the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
During the flood, most of our garden was underwater. I felt especially bad for the grass - it must have been grass-ping for air.
Where’s the best beach to buy sports gear at?
Jersey Shore.
Why did the vegan get fired ?
His job performance did not meat expectations.
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
Why do people like storm watching so much?
The lightning is quite striking!
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Because they might peel.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
What do you call a baby tree struck by lightning?
A zapling.
Ensure you save for the rainy day because even your closest friends can give you a cold shoulder.
I was going to make another mountain pun but I can't think of summit.
Q: What falls but never hits the ground?
A: The temperature
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
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