Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn, it's impekkable.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet.
He called them missile toes.
Why didn't the hipster swim in the river? It was too mainstream.
Q: Why did the little clouds idolize the big cloud?
A: Because he was the raining champion.
Did you know humans can be struck by lightning?
I was shocked when I found out.
The other day a tree asked for my help with kindling a grass route movement.
I said I wood because it's got a lot growing for it.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
Our souls will rain forever.
What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
Don't get tide-up in sorrows, you will only cry a river.
A french farmer who owned an olive plantation had a huge fire
He was extremely sad, he had lost his all his huile d'olive.
Four types of weather were having a race. Sunny won gold, cloudy got silver, snowy picked up a bronze, and rainy won a precipitation award.
Due to bad weather, I won't be attending the Meteorology Convention.
I'm gonna take a rain-check.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
What did the husband say when his wife told him he bought the wrong flowers?
"Oopsie daisy!"
What is the most favourite drink of a cow? Mountain Moo.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
Why Did the Milkman Get Fired?
He was skimming off the top.
What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower!
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
Why are people in big cities in Spain always dry?
Because the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
What's the name of the funniest mountain range in the world? The Himhilarious.
What did the lightning strike survivor say when interviewed?
"It was shockingly powerful. Like, it really Hertz"
Feeling fintastic.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
I was struggling to find out how lightning works. And then it struck me.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
You can’t predict wind speeds with certainty. The best you can do is make a gust-imate.
Why did the River go to the doctor? Her flow wouldn't stop.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
How does the weather tie its shoes? Witha rainbow!
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
The river fish went to the library and asked if he can get a book. The librarian said: "You can start by-rowing it."
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