There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it’s not raining.
I stole fire from the gods.
But I couldn't fence it. It was too hot.
Did you hear about the boat that crashed into the beach?
The captain fell asleep and the crew didn't realize until they were already in the no wake zone.
They told me they were handing out free beef at the beach...
When I arrived I realized it was a bay-con.
Shell yeah.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
There was a terrible fire at the shoe factory today...
Over a million soles were lost.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
Q: Why did the cloud do drugs and join a gang?
A: Atmospheric pressure.
What did the cow that was struck by lightning say?
I'm udderly shocked.
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?
A little shaken
What did the lightning say to the fireworks?
"Hey! You stole my thunder."
The worst thing about living next door to a good gardener is that the grass is always greener on the other side.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
I got fired from the unemployment office on Friday.
My boss said, “Clean out your desk, and I’ll see you in the office on Monday.”
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
I was hiking yesterday, when I suddenly ran in to a cougar....
Almost made me puma pants!
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
The book on Mount Everest was super interesting because it had so many cliffhangers.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
Why are you bringing me to this mountain river after our couple therapy session?!
Our therapist said I need to valley date you.
What happens when it rains cats and dogs? You have to be careful not to step in a poodle!
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
What is fire to a pyromaniac?
Just a warm-up.
I used to search for clams on the beach
But then I pulled a mussel.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
Why didn't the mexican archer fire his bow?
Because he didn't habanero.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What should you do if it starts raining cats and dogs?
Please seek shelters.
The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a dirty mouth.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
A french farmer who owned an olive plantation had a huge fire
He was extremely sad, he had lost his all his huile d'olive.
The cloud hailed from the sky kingdom.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
I heard there are some fires near Greece
We’re gonna need a lot of baking soda.
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