What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
Two Pharaohs are looking for a Sarcophagus...
they walk up to the sarcophagus salesman and the first Pharaoh says "We are looking for the cheapest sarcophagus you have for sale." The salesman asks "you're not looking for a fancy one?"
The second Pharaoh says "no, we are just trying to get our mummy's worth."
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.