What do ghouls eat for supper? Spooketi
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
A barber, a hairdresser, and Bigfoot walk into a bar...
You know what...I'm gonna shave this joke for another time.
Why do skeletons drink so much milk?
It’s good for the bones!
What do you call a werewolf with no legs?
Anything you like – he can’t chase you.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
What trees do ghouls like best?
Ceme-trees!
An Indonesian Giant stubbed his foot on a volcano...
- Did he Krakatoa?
Where do Ghosts travel to for a holiday? South Aarghfricaargh.
When a big giant eel takes your hand for a meal...
...that’s a moray.
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
What kind of potatoes do zombies like?
Monster mash.
A werewolf's favorite day of the week is Moonday.
What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
The abdominable snowman.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
Did you hear about the vampire who tortured his victims with music?
His Bach was worse than his bite.
What do you call a fast broomstick?
A vroom-stick.
What is the baby vampire's least favorite fast food establishment?
Stake n shake!
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
Where is the Ghost’s bedroom located? Down the Hall-oween.
Why did the skeleton go to the dance?
To see the boogie man.
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
Who babysits young Bigfoots?
Sasq-watcher.
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
Why did the skeleton climb up the tree?
Because a dog was after his bones!
Hear about the race between the Yeti and the Sasquatch?
The Sasquatch won, by a big foot.
I knew a vampire who was trying to become an actor. He gave it his best shot, but ended up retraining. He just couldn't find a role he could sink his teeth into.
What do you call a werewolf that's found the cure for lycanthropy?
A lycan'tthrope.
How do you shoot a three-headed ghoul?
Bang! Bang! Bang!
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
What did daddy ghoul say to his youngest son?
Stop ghouling around!
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
Titanic.
Where do werewolves hate shopping?
The flea market.
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Quackula.
What is an ogre's favorite snack?
Y-ogre-t.
Why is it good to drink witch's brew?
It's very newt-tricious!
A vampire returned a mirror to my shop the other day. It wasn't faulty or anything, he just said he couldn't see himself using it.
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
Why do werewolves not enter the Olympics? Too high a chance of a silver medal.
Why wouldn’t the ghost eat liver? He didn’t have the stomach for it.
I know an old man who's a vampire. He's quite long in the tooth.
What happened to the wolf that fell into the washing machine?
It became a wash and wearwolf.
Where are werewolf movies made?
Howl-lywood.
I've always wondered if it was easy to catch Bigfoot...
I was relieved when my doctor told me it wasn't a disease.
Two ghosts were at a disco. One was having a fa-boo-lous time and the other wanted to boo-gie all night long!
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