Did you hear about the werewolf who got invited to the dance?
He really wanted to go, but the upcoming full moon was giving him paws.
How do you kill a southern vampire?
You bless his heart.
Werewolf Weather Furcast: Tomorrow we expect heavy showers.
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
Witches get sore joints because they have broom-atism.
I wish medusa would stop objectifying people.
Why do werewolves howl at the moon?
Because no one else will do it for them!
What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.
There are two skeleton teachers at school. One is humerus, but the other is very sternum.
Why do ghosts like elevators? They raise their spirits.
Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at the joke?
Because he didn’t have a funny bone.
Where do vampire bats go to take out a loan?
To the blood bank.
What did daddy ghoul say to his youngest son?
Stop ghouling around!
Why couldn't the troll catch any fish?
Because other people took the bait.
What did the Wicked Witch of the West say when she extracted metal from ore?
I’m smelting!
The vampires were in a mood, so I thought I'd do something to cheer them up. They were over the moon that I re-vamped their castle.
Panda ghosts love to eat bam-boo.
How do Yetis tell the time?
With a sasq-watch.
Why did the zombie comedian get booed off stage?
Because the jokes he told were rotten.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
Vampires make awful businessmen. They just can't deal with the stakeholders.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
When the ghost saw his wife he said 'you're not just cute, you're boo-tiful too!'
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
Why do skeletons drink so much milk?
It’s good for the bones!
What do a witch and a candle have in common?
They're both wicked.
What did the Japanese skeleton put in his sushi?
Bone-ito flakes.
What do you call a fast broomstick?
A vroom-stick.
Why are witches good at farming?
Because they love occult-ivation.
A wise saying among werewolves: Chasing your tail will not make ends meet.
Are sasquatches superstitious?
Yes, they always knock on wood!
What do you call a mythical being working in a smoothie store?
Mejuicea.
What does Bigfoot do to relax in his spare time?
He goes bird squatching!
What position does a ghoul play on the soccer team?
Ghoulie!
Did you know Doctor Frankenstein used to be a lonely, lonely man?
Then he learned how to make friends.
What does a monster wear when it rains?
His ghoul-oshes!
Why didn't the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
What did mother werewolf say to the naughty boy werewolf?
- We're werewolves, not swear-wolves.
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
He ogre-dosed.
What's a goblins favorite dinner?
Ghoulash.
How do ghosts find out their future? They read their horror-scopes.
Who is a Yeti's favorite Dracula actor?
Christobrr Lee.
Sasquatch often gets mistaken for Bigfoot.
Yeti never complains.
Witches get so excited to decorate their cauldron because their favorite hobby is witchcraft.
What do troll mathematicians like to solve?
Parabolems?
What is a witch's favorite makeup?
A ma-scare-a.
Witches are always wand-ering around…
How does Bigfoot stay in shape?
It does Sas-squats.
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