Dracula always read the best selling local newspaper because he heard that it had a good circulation.
How do werewolves eat lunch?
They wolf it down.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
What did the werewolf say when he sat on sandpaper?
- Ruff!
What does goblin's blood consist of?
Hemogoblin.
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
What did the Turkey wear on Halloween?
He was a goblin.
How do you shoot a three-headed ghoul?
Bang! Bang! Bang!
Where does Sasquatch store his stuff while he's out on a hike?
In a big footlocker.
Why do witches fly on broomsticks?
Because vacuum cleaner cords aren’t long enough.
What is a ghoul’s favorite snack food?
Ghoul scout cookies!
What do you call a sketchy looking Bigfoot?
A Susquatch.
Where do werewolf go if their tails fall off?
A re-tail store.
My wife threatened to leave me if I didn't stop making monster puns.
So I guess our relationship might as well be ogre.
How do yetis stay regular?
They always know wendigo.
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
Which monster did the three bears catch sleeping?
Ghouldilocks!
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
Has the abominable snowman called?
Not Yeti.
What is a baby sasquatch's favorite toy?
His Yeti Bear!
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
How did the witch feel about using her broom to do housework?
She bristled at the suggestion!
Witch doctors write their prescriptions in curse-ive.
I'd advise against letting a vampire drive you home after a Halloween party. They never check their mirrors, it will drive you batty.
Why did the ghoul become green?
It was sick of eating brains!
What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
One is a hunted stag and one is a stunted hag!
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
What is the fear of giants called?
Fee-fi-phobia
Why are witches good at farming?
Because they love occult-ivation.
Many people think that the Abominable Snowman doesn't exist...
Yeti does.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
What did the woman say when she escaped Dracula’s clutches?
- Better luck necks time!
What is it called when a witch only casts spells that rhyme?
Poetry in Potion.
What did the ghost who crashed the Halloween party say? - I’m here for the boos!
Who cast the spell of sleep on Dorothy? It was the wicked witch of rest.
Why do ghouls like ice cream?
Because it’s ghoulilicous!
Why did the skeleton put on a heavy coat?
He was chillled to the bone.
What does a vampire need for making breakfast in the morning?
Pancake batter.
Why did the troll kiss the witch?
To keep her busy in love!
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
I love making new friends.
That’s why I studied under Dr. Frankenstein.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
What do witches in Australia ride?
Broomerangs.
Why do vampires eat lentils?
Because they are so into pulses.
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
Go to BabaMail
