Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
What’s a werewolve's favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas!
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
Please wait, bewitcha in a minute.
Why did the witch's cat scratch her?
Because he was in a bad mewd.
What would you call a vampire who is into finance?
Account Dracula.
What is the collective noun for Ghosts? Team spirit.
Skeleton 1: Why are graveyards so noisy?
Skeleton 2: I don't know. Why?
Skeleton 1: Because of all the coffin.
Why did the skeletons stay out of the forest?
Because sticks and stones will break their bones.
What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid!!!
What is a favorite game for ghouls?
Chase!
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone.
What do you call a werewolf with a fever?
A hot dog.
What is a werewolf’s favorite tree?
A lu-pine.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
How did the archeologists know the skeletons were real?
They were bone-afide.
Witch you were here.
Which building do vampires always visit when in New York?
The Vampire State Building.
What do you call a werewolf who cuts down trees?
A timber wolf.
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
What do vampires use when baking cakes?
Batter.
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
What did the doctor say to the skeleton who had a temperature of 103 degrees?
- Looks like you are running a femur.
What happens when Bigfoot gets lost in the fog?
He is mist!
"If you want to pass this point alive, you must answer my riddle: What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and on three legs in the evening?" the Sphinx asked.
Oedipus pondered for a moment, "Probably one of those new Pokemones," he finally replied. "There is like 600 of them.
"Fair enough man," spoke the Sphinx. "I can't reasonably expect you to remember all their names. You may pass."
What kind of TV does a skeleton watch?
A skelevision.
What do hydras fear the most?
Dehydration!
Did you hear about the vampire who tortured his victims with music?
His Bach was worse than his bite.
Where do ghosts go trick or treating? Dead ends.
How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying?
He could see right through him.
Why are Ghosts so lonely? They have nobody to lean on.
Where do vampires eat their lunch?
At the casketeria.
What is the Abominable Snowman's favourite type of cup?
A yeti.
What is a Ghost’s favourite toy to play with? Leg-oooooooooooooooo!
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween? Pillowcases.
What does a baby vampire say before going to bed?
- Turn on the dark, I’m scared of the light.
An Indonesian Giant stubbed his foot on a volcano...
- Did he Krakatoa?
What kind of dishes do skeletons serve tea on?
Bone china.
What did the Japanese skeleton put in his sushi?
Bone-ito flakes.
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
Why don’t vampire’s make good artists?
Because all they draw is blood.
What is a skeleton’s favorite mode of transport?
A scare-plane.
Where do school-going vampires carry their books?
In bat-packs.
Why do werewolves do well at school?
Because every time they’re asked a question, they come up with a snappy answer!
What's the slogan for the New York Demon Chomping Advocacy Group?
Gobble the ghoul.
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