What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
How do ghouls sign off a letter?
Best witches and worm regards.
Why was the ghoul so smart?
He always ate brain food!
Which car is a Ghost’s favourite? It is between a Boogatti or a Rolls-Royce Phantom.
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
Why couldn't the troll catch any fish?
Because other people took the bait.
What do you call a silly werewolf in Australia ?
A dingo-ling
I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian.
He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
What do you call a small Minotaur?
A Minitaur.
Werewolves love their fast food.
Why did the skeleton go to the hospital?
To have his ghoul bladder removed.
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.
Why did the witch stay in a hotel during her travels?
She heard they had great broom service.
The skeleton was scared of going skiing, he didn’t want to wrist it.
Why did the mummy get a divorce?
His wife was a ghoul-digger who was just after his mummy.
What do skeletons say when they set off to sea?
- Bone voyage!
Why are vampire families always so close knit?
Because blood is thicker than water.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
What tree monster prowls the forest?
Frankenpine.
Why was the book of incantations useless?
Because the author failed to do a spell-check.
A monster terrorized a village.
He kept doing it ogre and ogre again...
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
Who do vampires buy their cookies from? The Ghoul Scouts
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
What do you call a communist vampire?
A red blood count.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
What kind of hat does a skeleton wear at Easter?
A Bone-et.
The mom to the naughty vampire said to him, “Watch your battitude, that is not how you talk to your elders.”
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
What do you get when you cross a goblin, a stop sign, and immortality?
An everlasting gobstopper!
What do ghouls and goblins put on their nachos?
Ghost peppers.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
Did you know Doctor Frankenstein used to be a lonely, lonely man?
Then he learned how to make friends.
What happened to the wolf that fell into the washing machine?
It became a wash and wearwolf.
Vampires are too easy to play jokes on. Suckers.
If I made werewolf puns, they would be howl-arious.
How do you kill a southern vampire?
You bless his heart.
I found out yesterday that the Mexican dish ghosts like the most is a boo-ritto.
What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone.
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention.
What is a werewolf’s favorite tree?
A lu-pine.
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