How did Poseidon greet the sea monster?
- Hey buddy, what's kraken?
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a person who makes pots?
Harry Potter
Why don’t werewolf make good dancers?
Because they have two left feet!
What kind of TV does a skeleton watch?
A skelevision.
Did you hear about the werewolf who got invited to the dance?
He really wanted to go, but the upcoming full moon was giving him paws.
According to Greek mythology, Chiron was a half horse half human doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
Why do ghosts and demons get along so well? Demons are a ghoul’s best friend.
The best place to search for information about witches is wicca-pedia.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
What do ghouls and goblins put on their nachos?
Ghost peppers.
Werewolves love similes and metafurs.
What did the angry witch do after sitting on her broomstick?
She flew off the handle.
What do you call the story of a poor witch that just became a millionaire?
Rags to witches story.
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
What is a witch's favorite ride at the fair?
A scary-go-round.
What's a werewolf healed from Lycanthropy?
Over the moon.
What kind of horse does a ghost ride? A nightmare.
Where do ghosts go trick or treating? Dead ends.
What color sheet did the ghost wear on the 4th of July? Red, white, and boo.
Why are werewolves better than vampires?
Werewolves don’t have a problem with steaks.
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
What is a Ghost’s favourite film? Paranormal Activity.
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
The skeleton ordered a cabernet wine with a full body because he didn't have one.
Where is the ghost going on holiday the next year? Lake Eerie.
What do you call a werewolf that can’t decide what to wear?
A what-to-wear-wolf.
What do Ghosts suffer from? Saturday fright fever.
Dracula always read the best selling local newspaper because he heard that it had a good circulation.
How do werewolves eat lunch?
They wolf it down.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
What did the werewolf say when he sat on sandpaper?
- Ruff!
What does goblin's blood consist of?
Hemogoblin.
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
What did the Turkey wear on Halloween?
He was a goblin.
How do you shoot a three-headed ghoul?
Bang! Bang! Bang!
Where does Sasquatch store his stuff while he's out on a hike?
In a big footlocker.
Why do witches fly on broomsticks?
Because vacuum cleaner cords aren’t long enough.
What is a ghoul’s favorite snack food?
Ghoul scout cookies!
What do you call a sketchy looking Bigfoot?
A Susquatch.
Where do werewolf go if their tails fall off?
A re-tail store.
My wife threatened to leave me if I didn't stop making monster puns.
So I guess our relationship might as well be ogre.
How do yetis stay regular?
They always know wendigo.
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
Which monster did the three bears catch sleeping?
Ghouldilocks!
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
Has the abominable snowman called?
Not Yeti.
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