An idea is one of the worst killers of vampires. They don't see it coming, and then it dawns on them.
If you think Earth has too few human-animal hybrids, then it behooves you to become a centaur.
Has the abominable snowman called?
Not Yeti.
What do you call it when witches are optimistic about the future?
Witchful thinking.
What’s a skeleton’s next favorite rock band?
Bone Jovi.
Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?
At the second-hand store.
I knew a vampire who became a poet.
He went from bat to verse.
How did the witch invite the wizard to take an evening ride on her broomstick?
Voodoo like to ride with me?
Why did the troll go running?
To keep up with you!
What is an ogre's favorite snack?
Y-ogre-t.
What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
The best place to search for information about witches is wicca-pedia.
Who is a ghoul’s favorite family member?
Mummy!
What does a witch get if she crosses a black cat and a lemon?
A sour puss.
Why do skeletons drink so much milk?
It’s good for the bones!
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
Why did king Minos put Minotaur inside a labyrinth?
He wanted to amaze his wife.
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
What do you call a lie told by a skeleton?
A fibula.
On reflection, vampires aren't actually that scary.
You hear about the werewolf who majored in philosophy?
Now he's a whywolf
Why did the skeleton go to the dance?
To see the boogie man.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
What do ghouls and goblins put on their nachos?
Ghost peppers.
What is a wolf’s favorite time of the year?
The howl-o-days.
What happened to the skeleton who sat by the fire for too long?
He became bone dry.
What kind of pasta do skeletons enjoy eating the most?
Elbow macaroni.
What do ghouls love to eat?
Fettuccini Afraid-o!
What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist.
How did the ghost get from New York to London? British Scare-ways.
Where do school-going vampires carry their books?
In bat-packs.
What do you get when you cross a vampire bat and a computer?
Love at first byte.
Which monster did the three bears catch sleeping?
Ghouldilocks!
What is the baby vampire's least favorite fast food establishment?
Stake n shake!
Pan wants to lead his kind to rebellion, but...
He can't get no Satyr Faction.
What do you call a silly werewolf in Australia ?
A dingo-ling
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
How does a goblin eat a hotdog?
By goblin it.
What is a Ghost’s favourite toy to play with? Leg-oooooooooooooooo!
What do you call a very active hydra?
Hydradynamic.
Werewolves love their fast food.
What do witches in Australia ride?
Broomerangs.
What is a ghost's favorite place to work?
Ghoul-gle.
A witch with chickenpox is called an itchy-witchy.
Why is it good to drink witch's brew?
It's very newt-tricious!
How do ghouls like their meals?
Runny!
Why don’t werewolf make good dancers?
Because they have two left feet!
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
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