Which soccer position does a Ghost play? Ghoulkeeper, of course.
Where do bad jokes about skeletons belong?
In the skelebin.
When ghosts visit the seaside, they always get an i-scream.
What did one sea monster say to the other sea monster when they started their new jobs as sewer inspectors?
- It’s going to be a Nessie job, but let’s get Kraken!
Why do Ghosts avoid the rain? It dampens their spirits.
Why did the witch fall off her broom mid-flight?
She had a fainting spell!
What do Krakens eat?
Fish and ships.
There is a Giant Screwdriver attacking the city. Please seek shelter immediately. This is not a drill.
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
When the ghost watched a sad movie he started boo-hooing.
Did you hear the story of the little ghoul that grew up?
It became a headhunter!
Shrek isn't bad, but he's not that great either. I guess you could say he's medi-ogre.
What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house? Hope that it’s Halloween!
Why don’t vampire’s make good artists?
Because all they draw is blood.
What advice do ghosts give their children? Only spook when spoken to.
The most useless room in a ghost's home in the living room.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
Why do Minotaurs make terrible detectives?
Because they hate to go on steak-outs!
What is a wolf’s favorite time of the year?
The howl-o-days.
Sad to hear that Baron von Frankenstein has given up on his dream of being an actor.
He couldn’t get the parts.
I knew a vampire who was trying to become an actor. He gave it his best shot, but ended up retraining. He just couldn't find a role he could sink his teeth into.
Did you hear about the ghoul who had eight arms?
He was very handy!
Why did the ghost go to the big Labor Day sale? He’s a bargain haunter.
You will never see a vampire betting on the horses. They can't handle the stakes.
What happened to the skeleton who sat by the fire for too long?
He became bone dry.
Why did the skeleton have a broken heart?
His Boney lay over the ocean.
What do you call the last skeleton on earth?
The end-o skeleton.
How do French skeletons say hello?
- Bone-jour!
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
What do hydras fear the most?
Dehydration!
What happens if you cross a hairdresser and a werewolf?
A creature with an all over perm!
What kind of werewolf can track down flowers ?
A bud hound
What does a ghoul say when they wake up?
Gaaarrrh I love the smell of ghoul in the morning!
What do a witch and a candle have in common?
They're both wicked.
What problem do you encounter with twin witches?
You can never tell which is witch.
How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying?
He could see right through him.
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
He ogre-dosed.
A Ghost walks into a bar. No ones notices.
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called the SWAT team.
Why are vampire families always so close knit?
Because blood is thicker than water.
What is a baby sasquatch's favorite toy?
His Yeti Bear!
What job did Dracula’s son have on his little league team?
Bat boy!
Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball.
In the night, a visitor came past my igloo. It was a yeti!
Not sure who left the other cooler, but thanks!
How do ghouls like their meals?
Runny!
What did the ghost who crashed the Halloween party say? - I’m here for the boos!
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
What did one werewolf say when he saw his friend?
- Howl’s it going?
Did you hear about the goblin that got his left arm and left leg cut off?
Well don't worry, he's all right now.
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