Panda ghosts love to eat bam-boo.
Why do vampires need cold medicine?
For their coffin.
Have you heard about a man who became a werewolf?
He was distressed at first, but then he took a lycan to it.
Why do witches not wear a regular hat?
Because there's no point in it.
Why did the ghost go to the big Labor Day sale? He’s a bargain haunter.
How do you talk to giants?
Use big words!
What do you call a hairy monster that lives by a dam?
A weir-wolf.
What does the Yeti do when he is tired?
Himalaya down.
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
Why did the poor werewolf chase his own tail?
He was trying to make ends meet.
How do French skeletons say hello?
- Bone-jour!
What do you learn in witch school?
Spelling.
What kind of TV does a skeleton watch?
A skelevision.
How is Big Foot so good at rock climbing?
He always finds the biggest footholds.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?
A hemogoblin.
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
Why are skeletons so good at chopping down trees?
They're LUMBARjacks!
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a hyena?
A monster with a sense of humor.
Are sasquatches superstitious?
Yes, they always knock on wood!
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
Vampires are too easy to play jokes on. Suckers.
Witches get sore joints because they have broom-atism.
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
Titanic.
What did the tired witch do?
She sat down for a spell.
What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
I’ve started dating Medusa recently.
Our relationship rocks!
If you see a ghost, you should always say, 'How do you boo?'
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
When a big giant eel takes your hand for a meal...
...that’s a moray.
A green ogre came up to me and began saying how stressed he was/
I said, "You're a nervous Shrek."
A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by.
The sphinx said to the man, "You may pass if you can answer my riddle: What is wider than an ocean, heavier than a mountain, and unbounded by the laws of physics?"
The man thought for a moment and answered, "Imagination."
"Wrong," said the Sphinx. "The answer is your mom."
What do skeletons complain about?
Aching bones.
What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
The abdominable snowman.
Who is a ghoul’s favorite family member?
Mummy!
Did you hear about the goblin that got his left arm and left leg cut off?
Well don't worry, he's all right now.
What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
What happened to the pirate ship that sank in a sea full of sharks?
It came back with a skeleton crew.
What would you call a singer who's really scared of medusa?
A rockstar.
What do you call Bigfoot from Canada?
Sasquatch-ewan.
What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
Why are werewolves better than vampires?
Werewolves don’t have a problem with steaks.
What did one werewolf say when he saw his friend?
- Howl’s it going?
How does Bigfoot stay in shape?
It does Sas-squats.
What kind of hat does a skeleton wear at Easter?
A Bone-et.
How do ghouls like their meals?
Absolutely terrified!
What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal?
- Bone Appetit!
What do you call half of a centaur?
A per-centaur.
What does a vampire do after taking a shower?
It stands on a bat mat.
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