How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with an ice cube?
You end up with frost bite.
What did the giant octopus say to the pirate ship?
- What’s Kraken?
What do Ghosts say when they are impressed? - That was spectre-cular!
What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
The abdominable snowman.
Werewolves love their fast food.
Hear about the race between the Yeti and the Sasquatch?
The Sasquatch won, by a big foot.
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
What does one vampire say to another before bed?
- I hope you have a fang-tastic day!
What does the Ghost say when he sneezes? - Ach-ooooooooooooooooooooo!
The vampires were in a mood, so I thought I'd do something to cheer them up. They were over the moon that I re-vamped their castle.
A boy ghost thought a girl ghost was cute so he asked if she would be his ghoul-friend.
What do you call a zombie door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer!
The most useless room in a ghost's home in the living room.
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
Heard a rumor of a giant butterfly in London. Probably just an urban moth.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
Scientists believe that one day we will find Sasquatch, just...
Not Yeti.
Why don’t vampires use the front door?
Because they use the bat flap instead.
Did you hear about the ghoul who had eight arms?
He was very handy!
Why did the poor werewolf chase his own tail?
He was trying to make ends meet.
There's a group of girls that love vampires at my school. I really want to join their fang club.
What advice do ghosts give their children? Only spook when spoken to.
Last night, like every night, I dreamt I was half horse, half man.
My shrink says I'm just being self centaured.
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
How does Big Foot find his way through the deepest darkest forests?
He just follows the big footpath!
What job did Dracula’s son have on his little league team?
Bat boy!
What is a favorite game for ghouls?
Chase!
What did the ghost who crashed the Halloween party say? - I’m here for the boos!
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
What do you call a criminal vampire?
A fangster.
What do you call a male witch?
Mitch
Why didn't the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
Which soccer position does a Ghost play? Ghoulkeeper, of course.
Halloween was nearly over, and the zombie was hurrying to get back to her tomb before the sun came up.
She was rushing so much, she didn't even notice the headstone was the wrong shape before she got in. It was a grave mistake.
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
What do you call a dull ghost? Boo-ring!
What did the Turkey wear on Halloween?
He was a goblin.
What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make?
Brrrroooom, brrroooom.
Why do ghosts like elevators? They raise their spirits.
Big Foot has been spotted throwing tantrums and talking back to his parents.
No wonder they call him the Sassquatch.
What online search engine do spooky monsters use?
Ghoulghoul.
What do you call the last skeleton on earth?
The end-o skeleton.
Why aren't there more Bigfoot jokes?
There are, but they're really hard to find!
How do you make a werewolf stew?
Keep him waiting until the full moon!
How does a werewolf make bechamel sauce?
They start with a rooooooooouuuuuuuux.
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