What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
What do werewolf like for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
When the ghost watched a sad movie he started boo-hooing.
What did the skeleton say when he went riding on his motorcycle?
- I’m bone to be wild!
In the night, a visitor came past my igloo. It was a yeti!
Not sure who left the other cooler, but thanks!
What did the ghost teacher say to her class? - Look at the board and I’ll go through it, again.
What is a ghoul's favorite soup?
Ghoul-ash.
What did one werewolf say when he saw his friend?
- Howl’s it going?
Why couldn't the troll catch any fish?
Because other people took the bait.
What did the Minotaur order at Starbucks?
Half-calf.
How did the archeologists know the skeletons were real?
They were bone-afide.
What do ghouls eat for supper? Spooketi
The mom to the naughty vampire said to him, “Watch your battitude, that is not how you talk to your elders.”
Why did the witch's team lose the cricket game?
Their bats flew away.
What does a vampire do after taking a shower?
It stands on a bat mat.
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
Because he had a bone to pick.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul with an owl?
Something that scares people and doesn’t give a hoot!
Why did the ghoul become green?
It was sick of eating brains!
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
Why do ghosts like elevators? They raise their spirits.
Who is a ghoul’s favorite family member?
Mummy!
Where do werewolves store their things?
In a were-house.
Why did the hotel staff dress as witches for Halloween?
Because they provided broom service!
The comedian ghost had everyone in stitches - he was dead funny.
What do you get if you cross a witch with a werewolf?
A mad dog that chases airplanes!
Two ghosts were at a disco. One was having a fa-boo-lous time and the other wanted to boo-gie all night long!
A vampire can't be a comedian. They just aren't funny, and worst of all they always know they suck.
Why do vampires eat lentils?
Because they are so into pulses.
You will never see a vampire betting on the horses. They can't handle the stakes.
Who is Medusa’s cheesy cousin?
Gorgon Zola
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
How does a Ghost say good-bye? - I can’t wait to seance you again.
What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
The abdominable snowman.
What's the slogan for the New York Demon Chomping Advocacy Group?
Gobble the ghoul.
What’s a vampire bat’s favorite food?
I-scream!
What do you call someone who specializes in growing plants used in witches’ brews?
A hag-riculturist!
What do you call the story of a poor witch that just became a millionaire?
Rags to witches story.
The skeleton ordered a cabernet wine with a full body because he didn't have one.
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
If you think Earth has too few human-animal hybrids, then it behooves you to become a centaur.
How did Poseidon greet the sea monster?
- Hey buddy, what's kraken?
What did Dracula say to the priest who visited his castle?
Don’t you ever cross me!
How did the ghost get from New York to London? British Scare-ways.
What happens to witches who break the school rules?
They get ex-spelled.
I was asked who my favorite vampire was. I said it was the Muppet from Sesame Street.
They said, he doesn't count!
I replied, "I can assure you, he does!"
Afraid he wouldn’t get into college the skeleton spent the weekend boning up on algebra.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
Which building do vampires always visit when in New York?
The Vampire State Building.
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
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