Why are vampires like false teeth?
They come out at night.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
What did one werewolf say when he saw his friend?
- Howl’s it going?
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man.
A ghost's favourite pie flavour is boo-berry.
What do you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman? A dead ringer.
Why do vampires eat lentils?
Because they are so into pulses.
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
How do ghosts stay fit? By exorcising daily.
What do you call a sleeping werewolf?
An unaware-wolf.
What is a werewolf’s favorite drink?
Moonshine.
Why did the Ghost turn down the job? He could not see himself doing it.
What is a ghost's favorite place to work?
Ghoul-gle.
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
Did you hear that the police arrested a pair of vampires?
They got them on two Counts of robbing a blood bank!
What did the witch say to people who visited her house?
Come sit for a spell!
How do you kill a southern vampire?
You bless his heart.
What is a ghoul's favorite soup?
Ghoul-ash.
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
Yetis have declared their own independent state in the Himalayas.
It's an abomi-nation.
What do ghouls and goblins put on their nachos?
Ghost peppers.
What do you call a little ghost with a torn sheet? A hole-y terror.
You have to hunt down a troll and kill it with a gun. After you find it, you accidently lose sight of it. In rage, you fire your gun. The bullets hit the troll and it dies.
What do you tell the person who sent you on the quest?
- I lost gun-trol.
What would you call a vampire who is into finance?
Account Dracula.
- Dad, where are the DVDs? Where's Shrek, I want to watch it.
- Somewhere ogre there.
A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by.
The sphinx said to the man, "You may pass if you can answer my riddle: What is wider than an ocean, heavier than a mountain, and unbounded by the laws of physics?"
The man thought for a moment and answered, "Imagination."
"Wrong," said the Sphinx. "The answer is your mom."
You hear about the werewolf who majored in philosophy?
Now he's a whywolf
What do they call Bigfoot in Europe?
Bigmeter.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai.
Which soccer position does a Ghost play? Ghoulkeeper, of course.
What did the grandfather ghoul say to his grandson?
You gruesome!
What do you call the last skeleton on earth?
The end-o skeleton.
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
Werewolves love their fast food.
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!
What did the ghost do at the red light? He came to a dead stop.
What did the Japanese skeleton put in his sushi?
Bone-ito flakes.
What’s a Spanish vampire’s favorite dance?
The Fang-dango.
What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist.
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
A barber, a hairdresser, and Bigfoot walk into a bar...
You know what...I'm gonna shave this joke for another time.
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
How do you kill a troll?
Take away its internet access.
How does a goblin eat a hotdog?
By goblin it.
A vampire broke up with his girlfriend when she had a blood test. He told her she wasn't his type.
Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at the joke?
Because he didn’t have a funny bone.
Did you know that ghosts call their true love their ghoul-friend?
What job on a construction site is best suited to a skeleton?
Cranium operator.
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