Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
How do you greet a five-headed ghoul?
Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello!
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
Why do witches fly on broomsticks?
Because vacuum cleaner cords aren’t long enough.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
Why did the witch fall off her broom mid-flight?
She had a fainting spell!
Everyone loves my Halloween costume, but I still see room for improvement.
I guess I'm an ogre-achiever.
What's the difference between an internet troll and a video game character?
Video game characters have lives.
How do ghouls like their meals?
Runny!
How do French skeletons say hello?
- Bone-jour!
Dracula always read the best selling local newspaper because he heard that it had a good circulation.
A monster terrorized a village.
He kept doing it ogre and ogre again...
What time does the Wicked Witch have her clocks set to?
Greenwitch Mean Time.
Why did the ghoul eat a light bulb?
Because it wanted a light snack!
What do vampires use when baking cakes?
Batter.
A werewolf's favorite day of the week is Moonday.
Vampires make awful businessmen. They just can't deal with the stakeholders.
What is the Abominable Snowman's favourite type of cup?
A yeti.
What do you call a necromancer werewolf?
A dog with a bone.
Why do werewolves not enter the Olympics? Too high a chance of a silver medal.
I used to be a werewolf but I’m ok noooooooooooow!!
Why do ghosts like elevators? They raise their spirits.
How do you stop an Internet troll?
Seize their memes of production.
What job did Dracula’s son have on his little league team?
Bat boy!
What's a ghost with a broken leg called? A hoblin goblin.
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
What is a witch's favorite ride at the fair?
A scary-go-round.
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
What do you call a troll that’s in charge?
In control.
How is Big Foot so good at rock climbing?
He always finds the biggest footholds.
Can’t take my eyes off of her brewtiful face.
What did the broken hearted skeleton say?
After all to-marrow is another day.
What did the minotaur say to the real estate agent?
- Amazing.
What do you call Bigfoot from Canada?
Sasquatch-ewan.
What do Ghosts suffer from? Saturday fright fever.
How do ghosts take their eggs? Terri-fried.
How do you kill a southern vampire?
You bless his heart.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
What happened to the pirate ship that sank in a sea full of sharks?
It came back with a skeleton crew.
What do you call a small Minotaur?
A Minitaur.
What is a Ghost’s favourite toy to play with? Leg-oooooooooooooooo!
All vampires seem to have the same thing for their last meal. A stake.
If you encounter a sea monster, you better get Kraken!
How does Frankenstein jump-start his day?
With a shock of lighting.
Why was there no food left at the Halloween party?
Because everyone was a goblin.
The bartender told the ghost they don't serve spirits after midnight.
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