Why do vampires need cold medicine?
For their coffin.
Finding Bigfoot will be no small feat.
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
Why do vampires always dress so nice?
Because they’re so vein!
The best place to search for information about witches is wicca-pedia.
Why do witches only ride their broomsticks at night?
That's the time to sweep.
Why couldn’t the police arrest the skeleton?
They couldn’t pin anything on him.
Where do ghosts go trick or treating? Dead ends.
How do ghosts take their eggs? Terri-fried.
Dracula is vegan, he can't take any risks. One stake could kill him.
What kind of hats does the skeleton baseball league wear?
Skullcaps.
What’s a werewolf’s favorite nighttime story?
A hairy tail!
I know an old man who's a vampire. He's quite long in the tooth.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
Why do ghouls like ice cream?
Because it’s ghoulilicous!
I knew a vampire who was trying to become an actor. He gave it his best shot, but ended up retraining. He just couldn't find a role he could sink his teeth into.
A Ghost walks into a bar. No ones notices.
What do you call a hairy beast that no longer exists?
A were-wolf!
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
Ghosts drop off their babies at the day-scare centre when they go to work.
Why did the werewolf need to talk with the skeleton?
He had a bone to pick with him.
What do ghouls love to eat?
Fettuccini Afraid-o!
Bigfoot saw me today
I bet nobody believes him.
What is a Ghost’s favourite film? Paranormal Activity.
Why are Ghosts so lonely? They have nobody to lean on.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with an ice cube?
You end up with frost bite.
Tne thing you won't catch a vampire ordering in a restaurant is a stake sandwich.
What do you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman? A dead ringer.
What do Ghosts say when they are impressed? - That was spectre-cular!
Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at the joke?
Because he didn’t have a funny bone.
What do you call a really cold, young werewolf?
A pupsicle.
Everyone loves my Halloween costume, but I still see room for improvement.
I guess I'm an ogre-achiever.
What's a goblins favorite dinner?
Ghoulash.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
Why did the troll go running?
To keep up with you!
How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?
All her food is potion-controlled.
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a pet dog?
A terrified postman.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
What type of art do skeletons like?
Skulltures!
Please stop making jokes about little people
How would you feel if a bunch of giants made jokes about you?
How do you beat a vampire at poker?
Raise the stakes!
Why did Frankenstein’s monster give up boxing?
Because he didn’t want to spoil his looks.
Why did the skeleton climb up the tree?
Because a dog was after his bones!
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
What did the giant say after he ate Fiji?
- I want Samoa!
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
What would you call an ogre who can write and recite poetry??
Shrekspeare.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
What’s a vampire’s favorite type of dog?
A blood hound.
Who are the cousins of the werewolf?
What-wolf and When-wolf
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