Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house? Hope that it’s Halloween!
What kind of hat does a skeleton wear at Easter?
A Bone-et.
What do you call the process of naming the various species of dwarves, faeries, trolls, etc?
Binomial gnomenlature.
What do you learn in witch school?
Spelling.
What position does a ghoul play on the soccer team?
Ghoulie!
When the ghost saw his wife he said 'you're not just cute, you're boo-tiful too!'
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
I have no idea how so many people didn’t make it out the labyrinth.
It only took me a minotaur two.
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
What’s a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
What time does the Wicked Witch have her clocks set to?
Greenwitch Mean Time.
What do werewolf like for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
Dracula is vegan, he can't take any risks. One stake could kill him.
What is a ghost's favorite place to work?
Ghoul-gle.
What do you call witches who live together?
Broom-mates.
Why are vampires like false teeth?
They come out at night.
Why shouldn’t you grab a werewolf by its tail?
It might be the werewolf’s tail but it could be the end of you!
How do ghosts stay fit? By exorcising daily.
What do you call a Minotaur in a playground?
A swing and a myth.
Vampires make awful businessmen. They just can't deal with the stakeholders.
What kind of ghoul has the best hearing?
The eeriest!
Why did the skeleton have to testify in court?
Because he was a body of evidence.
What do you call a skeleton with no friends?
Bonely.
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
Where do werewolves store their things?
In a were-house.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone.
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
Vampires can always Count on Dracula.
My friend who's a vampire was feeling a bit low. I told him to drink B positive.
What do you call a werewolf that can’t decide what to wear?
A what-to-wear-wolf.
Why do Minotaurs make terrible detectives?
Because they hate to go on steak-outs!
The best place to search for information about witches is wicca-pedia.
What did the Minotaur order at Starbucks?
Half-calf.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
What does the Ghost say when he sneezes? - Ach-ooooooooooooooooooooo!
What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween? Pillowcases.
When the ghost blew his nose, lots of boo-gers came out.
A vampire can't be a comedian. They just aren't funny, and worst of all they always know they suck.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
Why are Minotaurs always broke?
Because their loan sharks are always milking them dry!
Why did the ghoul bury the trophy?
Because he wanted it engraved!
Where does Sasquatch store his stuff while he's out on a hike?
In a big footlocker.
Werewolves love similes and metafurs.
Where do Yetis go to dance?
To a snow ball.
Witches get sore joints because they have broom-atism.
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