What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
Are sasquatches superstitious?
Yes, they always knock on wood!
I'd advise against letting a vampire drive you home after a Halloween party. They never check their mirrors, it will drive you batty.
What would you call a vampire who is into finance?
Account Dracula.
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
What’s a skeleton’s next favorite rock band?
Bone Jovi.
Why is it good to drink witch's brew?
It's very newt-tricious!
Who did the ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up.
The vampire decided to eat a throat lozenge. It was the only thing he could think of to stop his coffin fit.
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
What does Bigfoot do to relax in his spare time?
He goes bird squatching!
What is the collective noun for Ghosts? Team spirit.
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
What kind of potatoes do zombies like?
Monster mash.
Why do ghosts like elevators? They raise their spirits.
What do you call a male witch?
Mitch
- Dad, where are the DVDs? Where's Shrek, I want to watch it.
- Somewhere ogre there.
Shrek isn't bad, but he's not that great either. I guess you could say he's medi-ogre.
Witch doctors write their prescriptions in curse-ive.
What did the Minotaur order at Starbucks?
Half-calf.
Why did the troll go running?
To keep up with you!
Where is the Ghost’s bedroom located? Down the Hall-oween.
What do you call half of a centaur?
A per-centaur.
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
Why did the witch go to the doctor?
She had a dizzy spell.
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
What game do Ghost children play? Hide and shriek!
How do you make a werewolf stew?
Keep him waiting until the full moon!
"That was a howling adventure!" said the werewolf to the zombie.
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
What did the Turkey wear on Halloween?
He was a goblin.
What do you call a witch who drives badly?
A road hag.
What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game?
Driving the zam-boney.
A boy ghost thought a girl ghost was cute so he asked if she would be his ghoul-friend.
What do you call a skeleton with no friends?
Bonely.
Witches are always wand-ering around…
What do you get when you cross a goblin, a stop sign, and immortality?
An everlasting gobstopper!
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
What is a skeleton’s favorite mode of transport?
A scare-plane.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite Beatles song?
The Ghoul on the Hill!
Why wouldn’t the ghost eat liver? He didn’t have the stomach for it.
What happened to the skeleton who sat by the fire for too long?
He became bone dry.
Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?
The witches sweep the sky.
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
What do you call a witch that lives in the desert?
A sand-witch.
What do you call the process of naming the various species of dwarves, faeries, trolls, etc?
Binomial gnomenlature.
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
What do you call a lie told by a skeleton?
A fibula.
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