What do you call a dad joke about skeletons?
A skele-pun!
What do you call a witch who drives badly?
A road hag.
What is a ghoul’s favorite snack food?
Ghoul scout cookies!
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
What advice do ghosts give their children? Only spook when spoken to.
What do you call a small Minotaur?
A Minitaur.
Why was the skeleton scared of the baby?
Because he was an ankle biter.
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
What time does the Wicked Witch have her clocks set to?
Greenwitch Mean Time.
Heard a rumor of a giant butterfly in London. Probably just an urban moth.
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
Why was there no food left at the Halloween party?
Because everyone was a goblin.
How does a goblin eat a hotdog?
By goblin it.
What do you call a criminal vampire?
A fangster.
Why do werewolves not enter the Olympics? Too high a chance of a silver medal.
The skeleton ordered a cabernet wine with a full body because he didn't have one.
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Quackula.
Why do skeletons hate the cold?
It sends chills up their spine.
What did the Japanese skeleton put in his sushi?
Bone-ito flakes.
Who did the ghost take to prom? His ghoulfriend.
What cheese do vampires eat?
Munster.
What would you call a vampire who is into finance?
Account Dracula.
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!
What online search engine do spooky monsters use?
Ghoulghoul.
What does Bigfoot say when he sees campers in sleeping bags?
- Yum, Hot Pockets!
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
What happened to the pirate ship that sank in a sea full of sharks?
It came back with a skeleton crew.
What does a werewolf say in church?
Howleluia!
The skeleton couldn't keep anything tidy because of his lazy bones.
There are two skeleton teachers at school. One is humerus, but the other is very sternum.
How do you talk to giants?
Use big words!
The bartender told the ghost they don't serve spirits after midnight.
- Hey, graduate student Minotaur, what are you up to today?
- Not much, just working on my Theseus.
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
Werewolf Weather Furcast: Tomorrow we expect heavy showers.
What kind of ghoul has the best hearing?
The eeriest!
Where did the ghost go on holiday? The Boohamas.
What do you call the Frankenstein of the Gardening world?
An A-botan-ation.
Take a vampire to a bar, and you don't need to ask what he wants to drink. He'll have a Bloodweiser.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
What kind of pet fish did the skeleton have?
A bonefish.
Why did the ghost go to the big Labor Day sale? He’s a bargain haunter.
What flavor of ice cream do vampires like best?
Vein-illa!
The skeleton didn't mind that everyone called him a bonehead.
Don't get too close to a vampire, they have a serious case of bat breath.
Why did the witch go to the doctor?
She had a dizzy spell.
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