Why did the skeleton start the fight?
He had a bone to pick.
Why did people stop going to the ghoul hospital?
They kept coming out dead!
What does one vampire say to another before bed?
- I hope you have a fang-tastic day!
Why wouldn’t the ghost eat liver? He didn’t have the stomach for it.
Why did the witch go to the doctor?
She had a dizzy spell.
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
If I made werewolf puns, they would be howl-arious.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
How does a Ghost say good-bye? - I can’t wait to seance you again.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
The ghost was told off when he spook out of turn.
Who is a ghoul’s favorite family member?
Mummy!
What is a werewolf’s favorite drink?
Moonshine.
Why was the book of incantations useless?
Because the author failed to do a spell-check.
What did the doctor say to the skeleton who had a temperature of 103 degrees?
- Looks like you are running a femur.
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
Please stop making jokes about little people
How would you feel if a bunch of giants made jokes about you?
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at the joke?
Because he didn’t have a funny bone.
I knew a vampire who was trying to become an actor. He gave it his best shot, but ended up retraining. He just couldn't find a role he could sink his teeth into.
Witch doctors write their prescriptions in curse-ive.
The troll told his girlfriend that he was head ogre heels for her.
What kind of fish do skeletons like to eat?
Carpals.
What did one werewolf say when he saw his friend?
- Howl’s it going?
What does the Ghost say when he sneezes? - Ach-ooooooooooooooooooooo!
Why is it good to drink witch's brew?
It's very newt-tricious!
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
My friend who's a vampire was feeling a bit low. I told him to drink B positive.
Why are werewolves better than vampires?
Werewolves don’t have a problem with steaks.
What kind of writer did the ghost hire to write his biography? A ghostwriter, duh.
What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game?
Driving the zam-boney.
What do you call witches who live together?
Broom-mates.
What's the difference between an internet troll and a video game character?
Video game characters have lives.
How did the skeleton baker make bread?
He Knee-d it.
A monster terrorized a village.
He kept doing it ogre and ogre again...
Werewolves love their fast food.
What do you get when you cross a strict school teacher with a vampire?
Lots of blood tests.
When the ghost saw his wife he said 'you're not just cute, you're boo-tiful too!'
Why did the skeleton go to the dance?
To see the boogie man.
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
Sasquatch often gets mistaken for Bigfoot.
Yeti never complains.
Did you hear about the giant who threw up?
It's all over town!
What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend?
- Will you marrow me?
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
What was the most common game played by Greek Gods?
Hydra and seek.
What’s a vampire’s favorite Shakespeare play?
A Midsummer Bite’s Dream.
A witch with chickenpox is called an itchy-witchy.
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