How is Big Foot so good at rock climbing?
He always finds the biggest footholds.
Bigfoot saw me today
I bet nobody believes him.
What did the tired witch do?
She sat down for a spell.
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
What happened to the skeleton who sat by the fire for too long?
He became bone dry.
Why do trolls live under bridges?
To troll goats!
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
What did the Minotaur order at Starbucks?
Half-calf.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a person who makes pots?
Harry Potter
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
What did the broken hearted skeleton say?
After all to-marrow is another day.
A werewolf's favorite day of the week is Moonday.
Where do you find giant snails?
At the end of a giant’s finger.
What kind of writer did the ghost hire to write his biography? A ghostwriter, duh.
What sound does it make when an ogre eats a witch for breakfast?
Snap cackle n' pop
What kind of jokes do skeletons tell?
Humerus ones.
How does a vampire keep fit?
Batminton.
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
Why did the ghoul bury the trophy?
Because he wanted it engraved!
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
Where is the ghost going on holiday the next year? Lake Eerie.
Draw me like one of your French ghouls.
Why do Ghosts make such good company? They are full of spirit.
I was asked who my favorite vampire was. I said it was the Muppet from Sesame Street.
They said, he doesn't count!
I replied, "I can assure you, he does!"
What is a Ghost’s favourite film? Paranormal Activity.
Ghosts drop off their babies at the day-scare centre when they go to work.
Why don’t people like grumpy vampires?
Because they have bat tempers.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
Why was Van Helsing so dedicated to killing Count Dracula?
Because he staked his whole reputation on it!
What do ghouls love to eat?
Fettuccini Afraid-o!
What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist.
If you encounter a sea monster, you better get Kraken!
What kind of horse does a ghost ride? A nightmare.
Why do ghouls like ice cream?
Because it’s ghoulilicous!
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
Did you hear about the giant who threw up?
It's all over town!
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
Titanic.
What did the Japanese skeleton put in his sushi?
Bone-ito flakes.
What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball.
Scientists believe that one day we will find Sasquatch, just...
Not Yeti.
What is a baby sasquatch's favorite toy?
His Yeti Bear!
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
What's a werewolf healed from Lycanthropy?
Over the moon.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
What do you call a male witch?
Mitch
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
What did one sea monster say to the other sea monster when they started their new jobs as sewer inspectors?
- It’s going to be a Nessie job, but let’s get Kraken!
What is an ogre's favorite snack?
Y-ogre-t.
A green ogre came up to me and began saying how stressed he was/
I said, "You're a nervous Shrek."
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