What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone.
How do you stop a werewolf attacking you?
Throw a stick and shout “Fetch.”
My wife threatened to leave me if I didn't stop making monster puns.
So I guess our relationship might as well be ogre.
Why did the poor werewolf chase his own tail?
He was trying to make ends meet.
What happens to witches who break the school rules?
They get ex-spelled.
Why wouldn’t the ghost eat liver? He didn’t have the stomach for it.
The local vampire society is constantly growing. They are always looking for new blood.
Witches get sore joints because they have broom-atism.
Why are Minotaurs always broke?
Because their loan sharks are always milking them dry!
How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying?
He could see right through him.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
What’s a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
Where is the Ghost’s bedroom located? Down the Hall-oween.
Heard a rumor of a giant butterfly in London. Probably just an urban moth.
When ghosts visit the seaside, they always get an i-scream.
What a werewolf movie, talk about howling!
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by.
The sphinx said to the man, "You may pass if you can answer my riddle: What is wider than an ocean, heavier than a mountain, and unbounded by the laws of physics?"
The man thought for a moment and answered, "Imagination."
"Wrong," said the Sphinx. "The answer is your mom."
I've always wondered if it was easy to catch Bigfoot...
I was relieved when my doctor told me it wasn't a disease.
Why did the ad agency hire a hydra?
She knew how to wear many different hats.
What do you call a goblin brigand?
A robgoblin.
Dracula is vegan, he can't take any risks. One stake could kill him.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spare ribs.
What do witches' cats like to have for breakfast?
Mice crispies.
What goes ‘Cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk’?
A witch laughing her head off.
What is an ogre's favorite snack?
Y-ogre-t.
Stealthy minotaurs are always camooflauged.
What do you call the process of naming the various species of dwarves, faeries, trolls, etc?
Binomial gnomenlature.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
Which car is a Ghost’s favourite? It is between a Boogatti or a Rolls-Royce Phantom.
The vampires were in a mood, so I thought I'd do something to cheer them up. They were over the moon that I re-vamped their castle.
Did you know that ghosts call their true love their ghoul-friend?
What did the broken hearted skeleton say?
After all to-marrow is another day.
What is a favorite game for ghouls?
Chase!
Why was the ghoul so smart?
He always ate brain food!
What does a baby vampire say before going to bed?
- Turn on the dark, I’m scared of the light.
Bigfoot saw me today
I bet nobody believes him.
What do ghouls eat for supper? Spooketi
What does Bigfoot do to relax in his spare time?
He goes bird squatching!
What do you get when you cross a goblin, a stop sign, and immortality?
An everlasting gobstopper!
Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at the joke?
Because he didn’t have a funny bone.
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.
What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game?
Driving the zam-boney.
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
What do you call a skeleton who rings the doorbell?
A dead ringer.
How do ghouls like their meals?
Runny!
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
What kind of tests are witches given in school?
Hex-aminations.
Why do Ghosts make such good company? They are full of spirit.
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