What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
Why do Ghosts make such good company? They are full of spirit.
What do you call a nervous witch?
A twitch.
What did the angry witch do after sitting on her broomstick?
She flew off the handle.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?
A hemogoblin.
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
Has the abominable snowman called?
Not Yeti.
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
THE KRAKEN: Yes, I'd like to renew my lease, please.
LANDLORD: Re-lease the Kraken!
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
Who is the most famous French skeleton?
Napolean Bone-aparte.
How did the skeleton bring his groceries home from the market?
He used his Cart-ilage.
Please stop making jokes about little people
How would you feel if a bunch of giants made jokes about you?
Where is the ghost going on holiday the next year? Lake Eerie.
The most useless room in a ghost's home in the living room.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
I knew a vampire who became a poet.
He went from bat to verse.
What do you call a werewolf with a fever?
A hot dog.
Did you hear about the giant who threw up?
It's all over town!
What happened to the pirate ship that sank in a sea full of sharks?
It came back with a skeleton crew.
The skeleton didn't mind that everyone called him a bonehead.
How did the archeologists know the skeletons were real?
They were bone-afide.
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
Did you see that movie about King Kong, the giant ape?
The plot was pretty bananas.
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
Why did the mommy and daddy werewolves call their son “Camera”?
Because he was always snapping at things!
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
Who turns the lights off on Halloween?
The light's witch.
One of my neighbours was stealing things from the local supermarket whilst sitting on the shoulders of two vampires. He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
What do hydras fear the most?
Dehydration!
Sad to hear that Baron von Frankenstein has given up on his dream of being an actor.
He couldn’t get the parts.
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
Two skeletons are talking in a bar.
Skeleton 1: "Are you going to the funeral tomorrow?"
Skeleton 2: “Of corpse I am.”
What sound does it make when an ogre eats a witch for breakfast?
Snap cackle n' pop
What does a vampire do after taking a shower?
It stands on a bat mat.
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
The abdominable snowman.
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
What do you call a sketchy looking Bigfoot?
A Susquatch.
How do ghosts find out their future? They read their horror-scopes.
Why did the poor werewolf chase his own tail?
He was trying to make ends meet.
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!
There's a group of girls that love vampires at my school. I really want to join their fang club.
All vampires seem to have the same thing for their last meal. A stake.
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