What did one witch's cat say to the other?
You look familiar.
Why did the kraken eat 5 ships that were carrying potatoes?
Because nobody can eat just one potato ship.
THE KRAKEN: Yes, I'd like to renew my lease, please.
LANDLORD: Re-lease the Kraken!
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
"If you want to pass this point alive, you must answer my riddle: What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and on three legs in the evening?" the Sphinx asked.
Oedipus pondered for a moment, "Probably one of those new Pokemones," he finally replied. "There is like 600 of them.
"Fair enough man," spoke the Sphinx. "I can't reasonably expect you to remember all their names. You may pass."
What do you call the Frankenstein of the Gardening world?
An A-botan-ation.
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
What do you get when you cross a strict school teacher with a vampire?
Lots of blood tests.
Why did the ghoul bury the trophy?
Because he wanted it engraved!
Afraid he wouldn’t get into college the skeleton spent the weekend boning up on algebra.
Where do werewolves store their things?
In a were-house.
What kind of pasta do skeletons enjoy eating the most?
Elbow macaroni.
Two skeletons are talking in a bar.
Skeleton 1: "Are you going to the funeral tomorrow?"
Skeleton 2: “Of corpse I am.”
I've always wondered if it was easy to catch Bigfoot...
I was relieved when my doctor told me it wasn't a disease.
How does Bigfoot clear his sinuses?
With a yeti pot.
How did the skeletons make s’mores when they went camping?
They made them on the bone-fire.
What do you call a ghost of a man with a broken leg? A hobblin’ goblin.
What is it called when a skeleton lawyer works for free!
Pro Bone-O.
Did you hear about the comedian who entertained at a werewolves’ party?
He had them howling all night.
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
What job on a construction site is best suited to a skeleton?
Cranium operator.
What is a Ghost’s favourite treat? Ice-scream floats.
What was it like to fight Medusa?
- At first I was afraid, then I was petrified...
What kind of hotdogs do ghouls like best?
Halloweiners!
What do you call Bigfoot from Canada?
Sasquatch-ewan.
Which soccer position does a Ghost play? Ghoulkeeper, of course.
How do ghosts take their eggs? Terri-fried.
What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
Why didn’t the skull go to the dentist?
It was too-th late.
Werewolves keep their spare things in a were-house.
What is a Ghost’s favourite toy to play with? Leg-oooooooooooooooo!
Why did the skeletons stay out of the forest?
Because sticks and stones will break their bones.
Where do vampire bats go to take out a loan?
To the blood bank.
What do they call Bigfoot in Europe?
Bigmeter.
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
What is a favorite game for ghouls?
Chase!
What do vampires do when they are trying to fall asleep?
Count Draculas.
Why did the witch go to the doctor?
She had a dizzy spell.
Which car is a Ghost’s favourite? It is between a Boogatti or a Rolls-Royce Phantom.
What do you call a troll that’s in charge?
In control.
At the Italian restaurant, the ghoul ordered spook-ghetti for his main course.
Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?
At the second-hand store.
Why did the witch stay in a hotel during her travels?
She heard they had great broom service.
What is a Ghost’s favourite film? Paranormal Activity.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
Dracula always read the best selling local newspaper because he heard that it had a good circulation.
Why do skeletons hate the cold?
It sends chills up their spine.
What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
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