What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend?
- Will you marrow me?
What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai.
Vampires make awful businessmen. They just can't deal with the stakeholders.
On reflection, vampires aren't actually that scary.
Why did the skeleton go to the hospital?
To have his ghoul bladder removed.
What do you call a goblin brigand?
A robgoblin.
Witch you were here.
A monster terrorized a village.
He kept doing it ogre and ogre again...
Last night, like every night, I dreamt I was half horse, half man.
My shrink says I'm just being self centaured.
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
What did the witch say when the door-to-door broom salesman showed her a vacuum.
I don't want an automatic. I want a stick shift!
How do you shoot a three-headed ghoul?
Bang! Bang! Bang!
Why did the Ghosts win the soccer match? They scored more Ghouls.
Who cast the spell of sleep on Dorothy? It was the wicked witch of rest.
What did the Turkey wear on Halloween?
He was a goblin.
What do you call the last skeleton on earth?
The end-o skeleton.
What is a ghost's favorite place to work?
Ghoul-gle.
Which monster did the three bears catch sleeping?
Ghouldilocks!
What do you call the Frankenstein of the Gardening world?
An A-botan-ation.
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
What kind of hotdogs do ghouls like best?
Halloweiners!
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
Witch doctors write their prescriptions in curse-ive.
What did the Minotaur order at Starbucks?
Half-calf.
Judging by the sounds, there’s an ogre staying in the hotel room above me.
Hopefully he shreks out tomorrow.
Where do vampires eat their lunch?
At the casketeria.
Where do school-going vampires carry their books?
In bat-packs.
Witches get sore joints because they have broom-atism.
What does the iron-deficient giant say?
- Fi fo fum.
What kind of horse does a ghost ride? A nightmare.
What do you call a Minotaur in a playground?
A swing and a myth.
If you're wondering if someone's become a vampire, there's an easy way to tell. A true vampire is always coffin.
Why do ghosts like elevators? They raise their spirits.
What online search engine do spooky monsters use?
Ghoulghoul.
Did you hear the story of the little ghoul that grew up?
It became a headhunter!
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone.
Everyone loves my Halloween costume, but I still see room for improvement.
I guess I'm an ogre-achiever.
Why do ghosts and demons get along so well? Demons are a ghoul’s best friend.
What do you get when you cross a vampire bat and a computer?
Love at first byte.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spare ribs.
Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
Because they're killer comedians.
What does a vampire need for making breakfast in the morning?
Pancake batter.
Why didn't the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
What do you call a werewolf escapologist?
Hairy Houdini.
What did the giant octopus say to the pirate ship?
- What’s Kraken?
Who did the ghost take to prom? His ghoulfriend.
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention.
The skeleton was scared of going skiing, he didn’t want to wrist it.
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