I love making new friends.
That’s why I studied under Dr. Frankenstein.
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
Many people think that the Abominable Snowman doesn't exist...
Yeti does.
Come witch me to the party.
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
I met a French vampire who had an attention deficit problem. We called him Drac..ooh la la!
What do ghosts use to keep their hair in place? Scare-spray!
Why did no one want to sit near Shrek?
He had terrible body ogre.
Big Foot has been spotted throwing tantrums and talking back to his parents.
No wonder they call him the Sassquatch.
What does a witch get if she crosses a black cat and a lemon?
A sour puss.
How do you make a werewolf stew?
Keep him waiting until the full moon!
What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
One is a hunted stag and one is a stunted hag!
What’s a werewolve's favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas!
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spare ribs.
I used to be a werewolf but I’m ok noooooooooooow!!
How do werewolves eat lunch?
They wolf it down.
What did the ghost teacher say to her class? - Look at the board and I’ll go through it, again.
What is a skeleton’s favorite thing to do with their cell phone?
Take skelfies.
What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house? Hope that it’s Halloween!
What do they call Bigfoot in Europe?
Bigmeter.
What happened to the wolf that fell into the washing machine?
It became a wash and wearwolf.
What do you call a Minotaur in a playground?
A swing and a myth.
What did one werewolf say when he saw his friend?
- Howl’s it going?
What do you call a mythical being working in a smoothie store?
Mejuicea.
How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?
All her food is potion-controlled.
How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a werewolf?
Terrier-fied!
Where are werewolf movies made?
Howl-lywood.
The skeleton didn't mind that everyone called him a bonehead.
What do you call a ghost who haunts fireplaces? A toastie ghostie.
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
Why did the ghoul become green?
It was sick of eating brains!
How do you kill a southern vampire?
You bless his heart.
What do witches in Australia ride?
Broomerangs.
If two vampires have a race, will it be neck and neck?
Why are vampire families always so close knit?
Because blood is thicker than water.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
Why was Van Helsing so dedicated to killing Count Dracula?
Because he staked his whole reputation on it!
What does the Yeti do when he is tired?
Himalaya down.
Where does a Portuguese skeleton live?
Lis-bone
If you're wondering if someone's become a vampire, there's an easy way to tell. A true vampire is always coffin.
Why did the ad agency hire a hydra?
She knew how to wear many different hats.
What happened to the skeleton who sat by the fire for too long?
He became bone dry.
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
What do you call an ogre in an accident?
A car Shrek.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
What kind of chocolate do ghouls like?
Hearse-sheys!
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
The best place to search for information about witches is wicca-pedia.
What did one witch's cat say to the other?
You look familiar.
What happens to witches who break the school rules?
They get ex-spelled.
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