Whats the distant cousin of the werewolf?
The way over therewolf.
What do witches put on their bagels?
Scream cheese.
Who is the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones.
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
What happens when Bigfoot gets lost in the fog?
He is mist!
There's a group of girls that love vampires at my school. I really want to join their fang club.
What did one angry werewolf say to the other?
- I have a bone to pick with you!
What do you call a dull ghost? Boo-ring!
Did you hear that the list of famous vampires had a startling omission?
They forgot to Count Dracula!
How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?
All her food is potion-controlled.
Why was the ghoul so smart?
He always ate brain food!
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
What is the collective noun for Ghosts? Team spirit.
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
What would you call a singer who's really scared of medusa?
A rockstar.
What's a goblins favorite dinner?
Ghoulash.
What is a skeleton’s favorite type of film to watch?
A spine-tingler.
Why did the skeletons stay out of the forest?
Because sticks and stones will break their bones.
Who put the Howl in Halloween?
Not ghouls just the people they ate!
I asked a vampire if I could borrow some money. He told me he needed to go to the blood bank.
What is a werewolf’s favorite tree?
A lu-pine.
Where did the ghost go on holiday? The Boohamas.
What do you learn in witch school?
Spelling.
Did you hear that the police arrested a pair of vampires?
They got them on two Counts of robbing a blood bank!
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
Which monster did the three bears catch sleeping?
Ghouldilocks!
Why are skeletons so good at chopping down trees?
They're LUMBARjacks!
How do yetis stay regular?
They always know wendigo.
Who cast the spell of sleep on Dorothy? It was the wicked witch of rest.
Why don’t vampires use the front door?
Because they use the bat flap instead.
How does Bigfoot clear his sinuses?
With a yeti pot.
I love making new friends.
That’s why I studied under Dr. Frankenstein.
How do you stop an Internet troll?
Seize their memes of production.
What do you call a little ghost with a torn sheet? A hole-y terror.
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
What do Ghosts suffer from? Saturday fright fever.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
Has the abominable snowman called?
Not Yeti.
Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
Because they're killer comedians.
Heard a rumor of a giant butterfly in London. Probably just an urban moth.
What do skeletons hate the most about the wind?
Nothing. It goes right through them.
What was the most common game played by Greek Gods?
Hydra and seek.
What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
One is a hunted stag and one is a stunted hag!
The vampires were in a mood, so I thought I'd do something to cheer them up. They were over the moon that I re-vamped their castle.
Dracula always read the best selling local newspaper because he heard that it had a good circulation.
What do you call a cold werewolf?
A chilli dog.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal-sized clippers?
Shear size.
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