What do vampires do when they are trying to fall asleep?
Count Draculas.
A witch with chickenpox is called an itchy-witchy.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
What did the giant say to Jack when he caught him sneaking around his castle?
"Have you bean stalking me?"
How much does an elephant skeleton weigh?
Skele-tons.
If two vampires have a race, will it be neck and neck?
The ghoul didn't get his letter on time because it got lost at the ghost office.
What did the lost witch ask the wizard?
- Witch way to the Halloween party?
What do you call Bigfoot from Canada?
Sasquatch-ewan.
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
Who is the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones.
What did the giant octopus say to the pirate ship?
- What’s Kraken?
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
Why did the ad agency hire a hydra?
She knew how to wear many different hats.
Who did the ghost take to prom? His ghoulfriend.
Where do you find giant snails?
At the end of a giant’s finger.
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
I have no idea how so many people didn’t make it out the labyrinth.
It only took me a minotaur two.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
I asked a vampire if I could borrow some money. He told me he needed to go to the blood bank.
I used to be a werewolf but I’m ok noooooooooooow!!
Werewolves love similes and metafurs.
What happens if a big ghoul steps on Batman and Robin?
They become flatman and ribbon!
Why couldn't the troll catch any fish?
Because other people took the bait.
What do ghouls love to eat?
Fettuccini Afraid-o!
Werewolves keep their spare things in a were-house.
Never believe minotaurs...
Half of everything they say is bull.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
What is a skeleton’s favorite mode of transport?
A scare-plane.
What do you call a ghost of a man with a broken leg? A hobblin’ goblin.
Who are the cousins of the werewolf?
What-wolf and When-wolf
Did you know that ghosts call their true love their ghoul-friend?
What sign was posted in the witches' parking lot?
Violators will be toad.
How does Frankenstein jump-start his day?
With a shock of lighting.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?
A hemogoblin.
What did the minotaur say to the real estate agent?
- Amazing.
Someone who does not become a witch until they're old is a late broomer.
Why does Bigfoot only leave footprints behind?
Sasquatch doesn't litter in the great outdoors.
Did you hear about the ghoul who had eight arms?
He was very handy!
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
All vampires seem to have the same thing for their last meal. A stake.
Why do vampires need cold medicine?
For their coffin.
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
What would you call a vampire who is into finance?
Account Dracula.
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
What’s a skeleton’s second favorite instrument?
A sax-a-bone.
What do you call a criminal vampire?
A fangster.
Which is a Ghost’s favourite cheese? Ghoul-da Cheese.
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