Why do witches not wear a regular hat?
Because there's no point in it.
Why did the skeleton put on a heavy coat?
He was chillled to the bone.
Why did the skeleton start the fight?
He had a bone to pick.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
What did one skeleton say to the other skeleton?
- You’re dead to me.
Why couldn’t the police arrest the skeleton?
They couldn’t pin anything on him.
What kind of hat does a skeleton wear at Easter?
A Bone-et.
Two skeletons are talking in a bar.
Skeleton 1: "Are you going to the funeral tomorrow?"
Skeleton 2: “Of corpse I am.”
The skeleton was scared of going skiing, he didn’t want to wrist it.
What do ghosts use to keep their hair in place? Scare-spray!
What do Krakens eat?
Fish and ships.
What is a ghoul's favorite soup?
Ghoul-ash.
What is a favorite game for ghouls?
Chase!
How do you greet a five-headed ghoul?
Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello!
What do you call the process of naming the various species of dwarves, faeries, trolls, etc?
Binomial gnomenlature.
You will never see a vampire betting on the horses. They can't handle the stakes.
Yetis have declared their own independent state in the Himalayas.
It's an abomi-nation.
What do Ghosts say when they are impressed? - That was spectre-cular!
What kind of TV does a skeleton watch?
A skelevision.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game?
Driving the zam-boney.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
A man has been arrested in South Africa for shooting a giant chess set
What's wrong with those big game hunters?!
How do you stop an Internet troll?
Seize their memes of production.
Big Foot has been spotted throwing tantrums and talking back to his parents.
No wonder they call him the Sassquatch.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
Take a vampire to a bar, and you don't need to ask what he wants to drink. He'll have a Bloodweiser.
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
What kind of pet fish did the skeleton have?
A bonefish.
How is Big Foot so good at rock climbing?
He always finds the biggest footholds.
What did the doctor say to the skeleton who had a temperature of 103 degrees?
- Looks like you are running a femur.
If you encounter a sea monster, you better get Kraken!
Vampires are not even real. Unless you Count Dracula.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
Why didn’t the skull go to the dentist?
It was too-th late.
What kind of horse does a ghost ride? A nightmare.
What was the most common game played by Greek Gods?
Hydra and seek.
Who did the ghost take to prom? His ghoulfriend.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
What do you call a lie told by a skeleton?
A fibula.
What do skeletons say when they set off to sea?
- Bone voyage!
What do you call a hairy beast that no longer exists?
A were-wolf!
What happens to witches who break the school rules?
They get ex-spelled.
What did the witch get her cat for entertainment?
A cat-alog.
What do you call a skeleton who rings the doorbell?
A dead ringer.
Hear about the race between the Yeti and the Sasquatch?
The Sasquatch won, by a big foot.
What do ghouls drink?
Boos!
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
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