Why do werewolves howl at the moon?
Because no one else will do it for them!
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?
A hemogoblin.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
How does Bigfoot stay in shape?
It does Sas-squats.
What is an ogre's favorite snack?
Y-ogre-t.
Why was the book of incantations useless?
Because the author failed to do a spell-check.
What's a werewolf healed from Lycanthropy?
Over the moon.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention.
Why do werewolves not enter the Olympics? Too high a chance of a silver medal.
One of my neighbours was stealing things from the local supermarket whilst sitting on the shoulders of two vampires. He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
College-age vampires only ever shop in one place - Forever 21.
Why did the skeleton go to the dance?
To see the boogie man.
What sign was posted in the witches' parking lot?
Violators will be toad.
What do you call a criminal vampire?
A fangster.
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
Why did the hotel staff dress as witches for Halloween?
Because they provided broom service!
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
What type of candy sent the skeleton to the hospital?
Jawbreakers.
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
How should you greet a Ghost? - Long time, no see.
What do you call a communist vampire?
A red blood count.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a hyena?
A monster with a sense of humor.
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
What do you call a bodybuilder skeleton?
A musculoskeleton.
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
What’s a vampire’s favorite Shakespeare play?
A Midsummer Bite’s Dream.
When the ghost went to a fancy restaurant, he decided to wear a boo-tie.
Did you know that ghosts call their true love their ghoul-friend?
What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house? Hope that it’s Halloween!
What is a werewolf’s favorite drink?
Moonshine.
There's a group of girls that love vampires at my school. I really want to join their fang club.
Why didn’t the lady skeleton wear a bikini?
Because she was big boned.
What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
She witch-hiked.
What happens if a big ghoul steps on Batman and Robin?
They become flatman and ribbon!
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
Titanic.
I don’t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy I’ve got 75 feet on.
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
Why are skeletons so good at chopping down trees?
They're LUMBARjacks!
What did the giant say after he ate Fiji?
- I want Samoa!
Which car is a Ghost’s favourite? It is between a Boogatti or a Rolls-Royce Phantom.
What happened to the man who didn’t pay his exorcist? His house was repossessed.
What do ghouls and goblins put on their nachos?
Ghost peppers.
Can’t take my eyes off of her brewtiful face.
If you see a ghost, you should always say, 'How do you boo?'
Who is a ghoul’s favorite family member?
Mummy!
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