What sound do you hear when a Ghost explodes? kaBOOm!
If I made werewolf puns, they would be howl-arious.
An idea is one of the worst killers of vampires. They don't see it coming, and then it dawns on them.
I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian.
He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes.
How did the witch feel about using her broom to do housework?
She bristled at the suggestion!
A pirate I know likes clothes made by an Italian fashion giant...
He dresses in Argh-mani suits.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
What does Bigfoot say when he sees campers in sleeping bags?
- Yum, Hot Pockets!
What a werewolf movie, talk about howling!
What do you call a dad joke about skeletons?
A skele-pun!
Many people think that the Abominable Snowman doesn't exist...
Yeti does.
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
What do you call a really cold, young werewolf?
A pupsicle.
What kind of pasta do skeletons enjoy eating the most?
Elbow macaroni.
THE KRAKEN: Yes, I'd like to renew my lease, please.
LANDLORD: Re-lease the Kraken!
What do ghouls say to each other before heading out for Halloween?
May the ghouls be with you!
Where do werewolves store their things?
In a were-house.
What do you get when you cross a strict school teacher with a vampire?
Lots of blood tests.
How can you tell that vampires love baseball?
They turn into bats every night.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
Who does a witch call for help with computer problems?
Hex Support!
Who do vampires buy their cookies from? The Ghoul Scouts
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
Please stop making jokes about little people
How would you feel if a bunch of giants made jokes about you?
What's the similarity between a sailor and a thief?
Both have a phobia for sirens.
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
Which building do vampires always visit when in New York?
The Vampire State Building.
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
What would you call an ogre who can write and recite poetry??
Shrekspeare.
Why do vampires always dress so nice?
Because they’re so vein!
What kind of jewelry do witches wear?
Charm bracelets.
Did you see that movie about King Kong, the giant ape?
The plot was pretty bananas.
What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
Two skeletons are talking in a bar.
Skeleton 1: "Are you going to the funeral tomorrow?"
Skeleton 2: “Of corpse I am.”
What was it like to fight Medusa?
- At first I was afraid, then I was petrified...
Witches always fly on broomsticks because they want to make a clean getaway.
There are two skeleton teachers at school. One is humerus, but the other is very sternum.
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
Because he had a bone to pick.
Why was the ghoul so smart?
He always ate brain food!
College-age vampires only ever shop in one place - Forever 21.
I’ve started dating Medusa recently.
Our relationship rocks!
What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow?
A numb-skull.
Which monster did the three bears catch sleeping?
Ghouldilocks!
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
I used to be a werewolf but I’m ok noooooooooooow!!
How should you greet a Ghost? - Long time, no see.
What online search engine do spooky monsters use?
Ghoulghoul.
The local vampire society is constantly growing. They are always looking for new blood.
Why do skeletons hate the cold?
It sends chills up their spine.
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