What did the angry witch do after sitting on her broomstick?
She flew off the handle.
"That was a howling adventure!" said the werewolf to the zombie.
Who are the cousins of the werewolf?
What-wolf and When-wolf
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
What do you call an ogre in an accident?
A car Shrek.
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a pet dog?
A terrified postman.
Where does Sasquatch store his stuff while he's out on a hike?
In a big footlocker.
Why wouldn’t the ghost eat liver? He didn’t have the stomach for it.
When a big giant eel takes your hand for a meal...
...that’s a moray.
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
What do bony people use to get into their homes?
A skeleton key.
Why do werewolves howl at the moon?
Because no one else will do it for them!
What did the ghoul say to the clown on Halloween?
Tag, you’re it!
Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
Because they're killer comedians.
What do you call a sleeping werewolf?
An unaware-wolf.
Why did the mommy and daddy werewolves call their son “Camera”?
Because he was always snapping at things!
What did the giant octopus say to the pirate ship?
- What’s Kraken?
What do they call Bigfoot in Europe?
Bigmeter.
What kind of birds do skeletons like?
Sea skulls.
If you see a ghost, you should always say, 'How do you boo?'
What's a ghost's favorite makeup to wear? Mas-scare-a!
What position does a ghoul play on the soccer team?
Ghoulie!
Why didn’t the skull go to the dentist?
It was too-th late.
How did the archeologists know the skeletons were real?
They were bone-afide.
What was the most common game played by Greek Gods?
Hydra and seek.
Why do vampires need cold medicine?
For their coffin.
What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
One is a hunted stag and one is a stunted hag!
Why did the skeleton have to testify in court?
Because he was a body of evidence.
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
What do you get when you cross a vampire bat and a computer?
Love at first byte.
I have no idea how so many people didn’t make it out the labyrinth.
It only took me a minotaur two.
My wife and my friends are sick of my puns about The Abominable Snowman.
Yeti keep cracking them.
A ghost's favourite pie flavour is boo-berry.
What do you call a werewolf who cuts down trees?
A timber wolf.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
Why did the zombie comedian get booed off stage?
Because the jokes he told were rotten.
Why was the werewolf arrested at the butchers shop?
He was caught chop lifting.
How does a vampire bat enter his house?
Through the bat flap.
Vampires are not even real. Unless you Count Dracula.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
What do you call a skeleton who hangs out in coffee shops and listens to indie music?
A hip-ster.
What does a baby vampire say before going to bed?
- Turn on the dark, I’m scared of the light.
What does a vampire do after taking a shower?
It stands on a bat mat.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
Why are skeletons so good at chopping down trees?
They're LUMBARjacks!
How do ghosts stay fit? By exorcising daily.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
What do you call a male witch?
Mitch
Why did the ghoul bury the trophy?
Because he wanted it engraved!
What is a ghost's favorite place to work?
Ghoul-gle.
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