How do you make a werewolf stew?
Keep him waiting until the full moon!
What job on a construction site is best suited to a skeleton?
Cranium operator.
What did the lost witch ask the wizard?
- Witch way to the Halloween party?
How did the ghost get from New York to London? British Scare-ways.
How do old witches get good bargains?
They hag-gle.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
Why are Ghosts so lonely? They have nobody to lean on.
What do you call a zombie door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer!
Stealthy minotaurs are always camooflauged.
What's a ghost with a broken leg called? A hoblin goblin.
What did the witch say when the door-to-door broom salesman showed her a vacuum.
I don't want an automatic. I want a stick shift!
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
How do you stop an Internet troll?
Seize their memes of production.
What online search engine do spooky monsters use?
Ghoulghoul.
What did the ghost who crashed the Halloween party say? - I’m here for the boos!
Panda ghosts love to eat bam-boo.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul with an owl?
Something that scares people and doesn’t give a hoot!
Did you hear about the skeleton who dropped out of medical school?
He didn’t have the stomach for it.
Who is a Yeti's favorite Dracula actor?
Christobrr Lee.
Why are skeletons so good at chopping down trees?
They're LUMBARjacks!
What do you call a Minotaur in a playground?
A swing and a myth.
What do you call a werewolf escapologist?
Hairy Houdini.
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
How do you kill a troll?
Take away its internet access.
What type of candy sent the skeleton to the hospital?
Jawbreakers.
What is the Abominable Snowman's favourite type of cup?
A yeti.
What do you call a skeleton who goes to school but doesn’t do any work?
Lazy bones.
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
The skeleton couldn't keep anything tidy because of his lazy bones.
You know why vampires can raise ghouls?
Because they are neck romancers!
Why did the witch's team lose the cricket game?
Their bats flew away.
Why did the skeleton start the fight?
He had a bone to pick.
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
How do yetis stay regular?
They always know wendigo.
Werewolves keep their spare things in a were-house.
What do you get when you cross a goblin, a stop sign, and immortality?
An everlasting gobstopper!
What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid!!!
Who did the ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up.
What does a polite vampire say to its victim?
- Fang you very much.
Why did the Ghosts win the soccer match? They scored more Ghouls.
What game do Ghost children play? Hide and shriek!
Why did people stop going to the ghoul hospital?
They kept coming out dead!
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
How do ghosts take their eggs? Terri-fried.
Why did no one want to sit near Shrek?
He had terrible body ogre.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
I don’t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy I’ve got 75 feet on.
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
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