What does a ghoul say when they wake up?
Gaaarrrh I love the smell of ghoul in the morning!
Don't get too close to a vampire, they have a serious case of bat breath.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
What is a ghoul's favorite soup?
Ghoul-ash.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
A vampire broke up with his girlfriend when she had a blood test. He told her she wasn't his type.
Did you hear about the witch who got plastic surgery?
She looked really good afterworts.
What do vampires do when they are trying to fall asleep?
Count Draculas.
What do you call a mythical being working in a smoothie store?
Mejuicea.
What color sheet did the ghost wear on the 4th of July? Red, white, and boo.
A vampire can't be a comedian. They just aren't funny, and worst of all they always know they suck.
Where is the Ghost’s bedroom located? Down the Hall-oween.
Where do werewolf go if their tails fall off?
A re-tail store.
What tree monster prowls the forest?
Frankenpine.
Hear about the race between the Yeti and the Sasquatch?
The Sasquatch won, by a big foot.
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
What did the broken hearted skeleton say?
After all to-marrow is another day.
How did the archeologists know the skeletons were real?
They were bone-afide.
College-age vampires only ever shop in one place - Forever 21.
What’s a skeleton’s second favorite instrument?
A sax-a-bone.
Why did the Ghosts win the soccer match? They scored more Ghouls.
What kind of jewelry do witches wear?
Charm bracelets.
What do you call a witch who drives badly?
A road hag.
Why do trolls live under bridges?
To troll goats!
Which is a Ghost’s favourite cheese? Ghoul-da Cheese.
What is a ghost’s favorite carnival ride? The rollerghoster.
A man has been arrested in South Africa for shooting a giant chess set
What's wrong with those big game hunters?!
Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?
At the second-hand store.
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
Why did the witch fall off her broom mid-flight?
She had a fainting spell!
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
What do werewolf like for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
What is a witch's favorite makeup?
A ma-scare-a.
What is a wolf’s favorite time of the year?
The howl-o-days.
What happens if a big ghoul steps on Batman and Robin?
They become flatman and ribbon!
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
He could feel it in his bones.
What kind of jokes do skeletons tell?
Humerus ones.
- Hey, graduate student Minotaur, what are you up to today?
- Not much, just working on my Theseus.
What did one skeleton say to the other skeleton?
- You’re dead to me.
Heard a rumor of a giant butterfly in London. Probably just an urban moth.
What type of candy sent the skeleton to the hospital?
Jawbreakers.
Why didn’t the skull go to the dentist?
It was too-th late.
What do witches' cats like to have for breakfast?
Mice crispies.
What do skeletons hate the most about the wind?
Nothing. It goes right through them.
What time does the Wicked Witch have her clocks set to?
Greenwitch Mean Time.
I've always wondered if it was easy to catch Bigfoot...
I was relieved when my doctor told me it wasn't a disease.
Which building do vampires always visit when in New York?
The Vampire State Building.
Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?
The witches sweep the sky.
What does a baby vampire say before going to bed?
- Turn on the dark, I’m scared of the light.
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