Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
Why did the witch's team lose the cricket game?
Their bats flew away.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
What do Ghosts suffer from? Saturday fright fever.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
What did one angry werewolf say to the other?
- I have a bone to pick with you!
What is a ghoul's favorite soup?
Ghoul-ash.
What does a polite vampire say to its victim?
- Fang you very much.
Where do you find giant snails?
At the end of a giant’s finger.
Did you hear about the ghoul who had eight arms?
He was very handy!
Why are Ghosts so lonely? They have nobody to lean on.
Please stop making jokes about little people
How would you feel if a bunch of giants made jokes about you?
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball.
What’s a Spanish vampire’s favorite dance?
The Fang-dango.
Witches always fly on broomsticks because they want to make a clean getaway.
How does Bigfoot clear his sinuses?
With a yeti pot.
What did the ghost who crashed the Halloween party say? - I’m here for the boos!
Yetis have declared their own independent state in the Himalayas.
It's an abomi-nation.
Why did the Ghosts win the soccer match? They scored more Ghouls.
Why was the ghoul so smart?
He always ate brain food!
What did the tired witch do?
She sat down for a spell.
What do ghouls say to each other before heading out for Halloween?
May the ghouls be with you!
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
Why do ghouls like ice cream?
Because it’s ghoulilicous!
What did the minotaur say to the real estate agent?
- Amazing.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
Two ghosts were at a disco. One was having a fa-boo-lous time and the other wanted to boo-gie all night long!
I was asked who my favorite vampire was. I said it was the Muppet from Sesame Street.
They said, he doesn't count!
I replied, "I can assure you, he does!"
What do skeletons complain about?
Aching bones.
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
He ogre-dosed.
What is a favorite game for ghouls?
Chase!
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
Why is the giant afraid of Jack?
Because Jack's beanstalking him.
What do you call a sketchy looking Bigfoot?
A Susquatch.
Who is Medusa’s cheesy cousin?
Gorgon Zola
What’s a skeleton’s second favorite instrument?
A sax-a-bone.
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
What time do werewolf Cowboys have a shootout?
High Moon!
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
I've always wondered if it was easy to catch Bigfoot...
I was relieved when my doctor told me it wasn't a disease.
It's true what they say about scaring vampires with a torch.
You can see it in their fright of light response.
What do ghouls love to eat?
Fettuccini Afraid-o!
When ghosts visit the seaside, they always get an i-scream.
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
How do you stop an Internet troll?
Seize their memes of production.
Dracula is vegan, he can't take any risks. One stake could kill him.
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