What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make?
Brrrroooom, brrroooom.
When the ghost family got in their car, the dad ghost told the kids to fasten their sheet-belts.
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
What is a wolf’s favorite time of the year?
The howl-o-days.
What do you call half of a centaur?
A per-centaur.
What do you call a small Minotaur?
A Minitaur.
Which monster did the three bears catch sleeping?
Ghouldilocks!
What online search engine do spooky monsters use?
Ghoulghoul.
Why do witches only ride their broomsticks at night?
That's the time to sweep.
What kind of hat does a skeleton wear at Easter?
A Bone-et.
What kind of birds do skeletons like?
Sea skulls.
What do you do with a green ghoul?
Wait until it ripens!
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
What do vampires do when they are trying to fall asleep?
Count Draculas.
What do you call a nervous witch?
A twitch.
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
Why didn't the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
What do witches in Australia ride?
Broomerangs.
How does a goblin eat a hotdog?
By goblin it.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
Why did the skeletons stay out of the forest?
Because sticks and stones will break their bones.
How did Poseidon greet the sea monster?
- Hey buddy, what's kraken?
What did the Wicked Witch of the West say when she extracted metal from ore?
I’m smelting!
What do you call a hairy beast that’s lost?
A where-wolf!
Why did the skeleton go to acting classes?
He wanted tibia star.
What happened to the man who didn’t pay his exorcist? His house was repossessed.
Where is the ghost going on holiday the next year? Lake Eerie.
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
The best place to search for information about witches is wicca-pedia.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
Did you hear about the comedian who entertained at a werewolves’ party?
He had them howling all night.
What do you call a goblin brigand?
A robgoblin.
What kind of dishes do skeletons serve tea on?
Bone china.
Why do vampires need cold medicine?
For their coffin.
If you encounter a sea monster, you better get Kraken!
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?
The witches sweep the sky.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
What is an ogre's favorite snack?
Y-ogre-t.
How do ghouls like their meals?
Runny!
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
My friend who's a vampire was feeling a bit low. I told him to drink B positive.
What do ghouls and goblins put on their nachos?
Ghost peppers.
What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
Vampires are not even real. Unless you Count Dracula.
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
What’s a vampire bat’s favorite food?
I-scream!
Why did the witch go to the doctor?
She had a dizzy spell.
When the ghost blew his nose, lots of boo-gers came out.
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