What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
Why couldn't the troll catch any fish?
Because other people took the bait.
Dracula really doesn't have any other vampire friends. It's because he's a total pain in the neck.
I hear the Minotaur is really stubborn....
He's really bull-headed.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
Which car is a Ghost’s favourite? It is between a Boogatti or a Rolls-Royce Phantom.
At the Italian restaurant, the ghoul ordered spook-ghetti for his main course.
Did you hear about the skeleton who dropped out of medical school?
He didn’t have the stomach for it.
Where do bad jokes about skeletons belong?
In the skelebin.
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
Why do witches fly on broomsticks?
Because vacuum cleaner cords aren’t long enough.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
How does Big Foot find his way through the deepest darkest forests?
He just follows the big footpath!
Please wait, bewitcha in a minute.
Why did the monster call his werewolf “Frost”?
Because frost bites!
What do you get when you cross a ghoul with an owl?
Something that scares people and doesn’t give a hoot!
What is a skeleton’s favorite thing to do with their cell phone?
Take skelfies.
What do you call a very active hydra?
Hydradynamic.
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
Why did the werewolf need to talk with the skeleton?
He had a bone to pick with him.
What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
Did you hear about the comedian who entertained at a werewolves’ party?
He had them howling all night.
Why are Minotaurs always broke?
Because their loan sharks are always milking them dry!
What’s a vampire’s favorite type of dog?
A blood hound.
According to Greek mythology, Chiron was a half horse half human doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
What do you get if you cross a witch with a werewolf?
A mad dog that chases airplanes!
Whats the distant cousin of the werewolf?
The way over therewolf.
What advice do ghosts give their children? Only spook when spoken to.
How do yetis stay regular?
They always know wendigo.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
What is it called when a skeleton lawyer works for free!
Pro Bone-O.
How does a werewolf make bechamel sauce?
They start with a rooooooooouuuuuuuux.
A man has been arrested in South Africa for shooting a giant chess set
What's wrong with those big game hunters?!
What did the Turkey wear on Halloween?
He was a goblin.
Did you hear about the vampire who only had one fang?
He just had to grin and bare it.
Vampires love corny jokes and puns. I don't think they're funny, but it's probably to do with them being pun-dead.
How can you tell that vampires love baseball?
They turn into bats every night.
How did the monster predict his future?
With the horror-scope!
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
Who turns the lights off on Halloween?
The light's witch.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
What's a werewolf healed from Lycanthropy?
Over the moon.
Why did people stop going to the ghoul hospital?
They kept coming out dead!
Which is a Ghost’s favourite cheese? Ghoul-da Cheese.
Why do vampires always dress so nice?
Because they’re so vein!
Why are vampires like false teeth?
They come out at night.
Has the abominable snowman called?
Not Yeti.
How should you greet a Ghost? - Long time, no see.
What kind of fish do skeletons like to eat?
Carpals.
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
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