Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
What do you ask a medieval crustacean when you want them to feel the music?
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Medieval Kings and Queens were carried by their soldiers and servants. I am not lying, they litter-ally carried that way!
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
In the old times, the medieval kings and queens would only visit the dentist just before their coronation. This is because they wanted their teeth crowned!
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
There were two knights who were fighting a long duel with each other. The fight ended when one of them chopped off the other's leg- guess the knight was defeeted.
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
Where does King Arthur throw his stupid knights?
In the Dumbgeon.
What do you call a Medieval knight who's always sure of himself?
Sir Tainly.
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
What do you call someone who used to build airplanes in medieval times? Aerosmith!
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
Why did Henry VIII struggle to breathe?
He had no heir!
What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
After which knight is a town in England named? Sir Rey!
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
In the medieval ages, many knights had to travel throughout day and night. In order to increase their visibility in darkness, they invented a device known as the knightvision goggles.
What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel