There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
Which was the largest Gladiator of them all?
Gluteus Maximus
When I asked my History teacher if he knew about Einstein's origin and history, he said, "I am relatively aware of it."
Ancient Romans considered vomitoriums a good place to un-wine.
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
Immanuel doesn't pun, he Kant.
Ancient Rome
Two friends are talking:
- you know how many girls I had?
- mmm?
- No, not that many...
When the teacher got frustrated because the students weren't paying attention to the class about Isaac Newton, he exclaimed, "Don't you understand the gravity of this situation?"
What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?
Sir Valence.
What does a gladiator say when leaving after an intimate embrace with a woman?
Gladiator out
King Arthur's Round Table was built by Sir Cumference.
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
The paper my student wrote on Tsar Ivan was so bad, it was tearable.
Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
When the student had asked the History teacher what questions will be there for the History exam, she answered, "The Past."
Napoleon may not have designed the coat he wore, but he did have a hand in it.
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
Julius Caesar
But Julius is too shy to talk to her
Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?
Because all the roads lead to Rome.
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
Nobody knows about Napoleon's brother because they were born-apart-e.
What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
Name the subject that is most fruitiest among others. History because of it huge number of dates.
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
Have you heard about the roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
Gladiator.
What roman never gets any dates?
Hidius
Who led the Australians into the promised land, through a semipermeable membrane?
Ozmoses.
How did the dog learn to read the hieroglyphics? Because it was an egypt-chien.
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
What explorer was the best at Hide and Seek?
Marco Polo.
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
Romeo & Juliet.doc...
...is a play on Word.
2000 years ago, pop diva Lady Cleopatra had a smash hit: "Bad Romans."
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
Have you ever been to a marketplace in Egypt?
It's quite bazaar
When the History teachers wanted to help out students who were failing the subject privately, they put up a poster on the school bulletin boards that said, "Need Tudoring?"
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